defeminized (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
defeminized) wrote2011-05-23 07:20 am
defeminized) wrote2011-05-23 07:20 am
Entry tags:
Koi no Wheels
Title: Koi no Wheels
Pairings: Kame/Pi, and a lot of other ninja pairings (spot them!)
Wordcount: 7537
Rating: PG-13
Warning: Vulgar language, crack, tons of fandom in-jokes
Summary: Kame and Yamapi are leaders of two rivaling gangs. Then Seishun Amigo happens.
Notes: This fic is inspired by this prompt, and contains snippets written by![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
scorch66 and cease11 in the very same thread. Thanks to pinkeuphoria1 for the last minute beta, all other mistakes are mine.
--
They all fear him.
Kamenashi Kazuya is one of those gang leaders that didn’t get their position through intimidation. There are no tattoos on his body, hidden knives, visible scars or scruffy appearances. He even has people calling him ‘Kame-chan’, which is most probably the least intimidating nickname for a gang leader ever.
Some people say that he could have passed off as a seasoned host who works in one of those Roppongi clubs. Most people just say he could have been a model if he wanted to. Of course, nobody tells it to his face, or to his gang members.
They, the Ultimate Wheels gang, are well known for their popularity within the racing circle (and off the racing circle), thanks to their ace racer Taguchi Junnosuke, but they are officially known as KAT-TUN. They all hate the name. Rumours has it that they fought during the meeting to rename themselves (one which they vehemently deny with all their might), which included broken furniture and flying fists. They say something else also went on during the meeting, though nobody asks. Kamenashi Kazuya, they say, will glare at everybody who is not part of the main committee if they so much as ask about what had happened during that infamous meeting.
He has the Glare. Apparently, it’s enough.
Just ask the Wheels Jr members.
--
Yamashita Tomohisa is a nicer leader, they say.
And that his group (they refuse to call themselves a ‘gang’) is far nicer in general.
There’s an alleged rivalry between Yamashita’s group, NEWS, and KAT-TUN that extends to even their fans. People can tell who is a fan of NEWS and who is a fan of KAT-TUN –if you like NEWS, you’re very likely to be young, innocent, and peace-loving and if you’re a fan of KAT-TUN, you’re very likely to be dressed in gyaru manner, wear too much makeup, and talk like the whole world offended you– almost right away.
NEWS has a reputation for being the ‘smart’ ones. According to the official statistics, four out of the six main committee members of the NEWS gang are graduates from top universities, majoring in intellectual things like literature and law and other things that sound smart. They are known for being every mother’s dream ‘boy you wish your daughter would come home with’. Topping that chart is Yamashita, with all the Wheels members (with only Kamenashi ranking slightly higher; many people think that he would have been ranked much higher if not for his reputation of being The Drunk You Wouldn’t Approach Ever) ranking the bottom, along with Yamashita’s fellow NEWS member, Nishikido Ryo.
Most people think that Ryo is mean, but nobody really takes his meanness seriously. They just think he’s a tsundere and it strangely heightens his moe points.
People do know that two of Wheels members, Tanaka Koki and Nakamaru Yuichi (albeit still an undergraduate and only recently having enrolled himself in Waseda) are also tertiary-educated with smart-sounding qualifications, but nobody really cares.
The Wheels members decided that their university pedigrees would only drag their reputation down anyway.
--
Among the Wheels, Koki looks the most intimidating. “Next to Kame-chan, obviously,” he will say while running his hand through his hair.
He’s not very scary-looking now that he has hair on his head, but when he had no hair, he was The Scary One You Should Avoid At All Costs. People used to think that he’s the new Yakuza in town when he shaved his head, not realising that it was the same Koki, only with no hair. Koki, who was too trigger-happy with the new microphone lookalike head that seemed to be capable of reducing people of all ages into puddles of shaking goo, went a few steps further. He got himself a few tattoos and bought more scary-looking (preferably those with sharp edges and skull motifs) accessories. He also shaved his eyebrows a little too thin (he was at least careful to let it be slightly thicker than Kame’s, albeit only very slightly), and purposely ripped parts of his clothes so that they looked edgy and intimidating. He also took the habit to speaking as though the whole world offended him, a habit that would take over their entire fandom.
Only he ended up being more intimidating than he had intended. So intimidating, people started thinking that he ate dogs instead of rearing them.
He ‘gradually changed’ after growing out his hair. He slowly reduced his ‘gangsta’-ness to become more ‘sexy’ than ‘badass’, but first impressions last.
Unfortunately.
--
Yamashita Tomohisa is better known as Yamapi, and he hates Kame.
Kamenashi is better known by his nickname, Kame, and he hates Yamapi.
Nobody knows exactly why they hate each other, though rumour has it that it had something to do with either Kame being ugly (probability to be true - 20%), fighting over an ex-Wheels, Akanishi Jin (probability – 75%), fighting over a girl (probability – 80%) or brawling over a territory (probability – 90%).
Something weird happened about a year ago that had sort of changed everything.
It was during another almost-brawl they had, in a bar. It was new then, owned by a badass okama-san (who reportedly had a thing for Kame, and still has) named Madame Christine. Madame Christine had settled the Kame-Yamapi tension by forcing them to perform a total hit but completely fucking lame song called Seishun Amigo by this temporary unit called Shuuji to Akira in front of her (or is it his? Nobody speaks of Madame Christine’s gender openly, unless he has a deathwish) over a hundred customers.
It was a show witnessed by all of the Wheels and NEWS. Obviously, no one ever dares to mention that again in front of either one of them.
However, they still secretly laugh over any mention of ‘amigo’.
“Fun times, eh?” Taguchi would say in between laughters. Everyone agrees.
--
Ask Tegoshi Yuya what NEWS, as a group, actually does.
He will flash you a very blinding smile, and tell you that NEWS gathers various boys of different backgrounds to uphold the values of the society. To bring happiness to everyone.
Their fans and you will go starry-eyed.
Ask Ueda Tatsuya what The Wheels (or KAT-TUN) as a gang, actually does.
He will flash you a very blinding smile and tell you something cryptic. Like “are you sure you want to know?”, then point to Koki yelling things at Taguchi Junnosuke.
Their fans will go starry-eyed. Your response, however, will depend on your stance on sadism and masochism.
--
Kato Shigeaki knows enough law to know that there’s a way to offer The Wheels a truce. Not that it will make them fight less, but at least it can probably help to reduce catfights between their fans.
Shige tries to suggest it to Yamapi, who comes back one day looking like he has been intoxicated. Yamapi only nods.
Happy, he goes to Koyama Keiichiro, who will definitely be able to help him. Koyama’s extensive knowledge in language should be able to help, he thinks.
Koyama doesn’t think that NEWS actually needs to offer the Wheels a truce or any other truce-like tokens of peace.
Shige asks, but Koyama only says “I will tell you when I have it confirmed.”
--
Nakamaru Yuichi is the oldest committee member of The Wheels, but he’s often mistaken to be one of NEWS.
Kame says it’s because he hangs out too much with Masuda Takahisa.
“You should have hung out with me instead, at least then I can help to affirm your identity,” Kame had said.
Koki had agreed. “Yucchi, you should follow my example.”
“What? Shave my head then grow the hair back and dye it impossible colours?”
“Be gangsta.”
Nakamaru preferred his argyle sweaters back then, and he still does prefer his comfortable sweaters.
“No way, you guys are too-“
“But you’re the oldest in Wheels, it’s time you at least reflect us in some ways,” Ueda had added.
“What is this? Doubting my loyalty?”
“FUCKING DIE!!!” Taguchi Junnosuke had shouted from across the room, eyes set on defeating the Super Mario and fingers frantically maneuvering the console.
“SHUT UP, TAGUCHI!”. The Wheels have always been consistently united when dealing with Taguchi.
Back then, Nakamaru was saved by Taguchi.
But now, he’s not so lucky.
He doesn’t really understand the need to be hostile towards the other gang, and it’s not like they cross each other’s path that often, with NEWS taking care of the noble causes and The Wheels taking care of the shadier ones.
“It feels like being in Romeo and Juliet,” Masuda Takahisa says, mouth busily eating the latest sample of melon buns Nakamaru got him. “Only you and I are nowhere near that level of lovey-dovey-ness.”
Nakamaru laughs at the irony of their situation. “It was worse during our high school days, remember? Sometimes we would have real brawls and you would call me asking if I have extra antiseptic lotions because Ryo needed it and Osaka was too far away to ask for help.”
They bump their knuckles together. “We are still the Secret Agent Men,” Masuda says, crumbs of the melon bun falling like snowflakes onto his pants.
--
It all started during high school when a senior, Domoto Koichi formed a special committee made up of six randomly-selected boys, said to be a temporary unit, to be guarding the school after school hours to defend it against the small local biker gang who had threatened to mess up the school festival. Koichi had named them by assembling the first letters from their initials into a pronounceable word – KAT-TUN.
(There were two T’s among them, Tanaka and Taguchi. They drew out who was supposed to be the first T via janken. Koki was certain that he would definitely win the janken game, but he didn’t know that Taguchi was the King of Games, including janken.)
A large segment of the student council doubted Koichi’s decision but allowed the unit to exist anyway. It was the school’s fiftieth festival and they needed to execute every conceivable method there was. One of them was bound to work somehow, they had believed.
To everyone’s surprise, KAT-TUN was the method that worked. Thanks to Taguchi’s connections with someone the others have yet to figure out even to this day, they busted the hideout of the local gang that had threatened the school and brought them to the police. The five other members of KAT-TUN believed that it was the reason for their latent tolerance towards Taguchi for the many years to come.
They had built such a formidable reputation among the students and the locals, the six of them stuck together. After graduating from high school, they banded together and built a temporary headquarters somewhere near the school, bearing various names. It started with CARTOON, which they later ditched for Queen of Pirates. The named stuck for a while until Taguchi established himself as a professional racecar driver (also a semi-professional billiard player, quasi-professional DotA gamer and other side jobs nobody bothered to keep track of), Koki as an indie rapper named Joker for a band called PIERROT, Nakamaru as the university student and the all-around OCD father figure for everyone, Ueda Tatsuya the boxer and part-time guitarist in Koki’s band, Jin left for America and Kame as the next Big Thing in the baseball world that they have decided to rename themselves The Ultimate Wheels.
People still know them as KAT-TUN. They prefer calling themselves The Wheels. “It sounds cooler,” Koki had said.
--
NEWS was formed shortly after the school festival had ended. This time, it was the school’s decision to form the unit. The school’s female volleyball team had been the finalist for the national championship, and the school formed a cheer squad led by nine boys to support the girls. They performed for the crowd, singing and dancing to their signature songs, NEWS Nippon and Kibou ~Yell~, both which were later recorded and sold to the fangirls because they were gaining more attention than the school had anticipated for.
Their team lost in the finals, but NEWS gained national attention for their all-around wholesomeness and Japan loves their boys wholesome. Members of KAT-TUN were not amused.
Koki specifically whined about how NEWS was a whimsical decision that worked whimsically only because the school had needed something whimsical. NEWS was nothing like KAT-TUN, which was actually useful to the school.
By that time, the rest of the school only knew of KAT-TUN as a bunch of delinquents grouped together to fight another group of delinquents, contributions notwithstanding.
Like KAT-TUN, NEWS stuck, though not without some changes in their lineups. Moriuchi left NEWS because he thought that being in NEWS would hurt his credentials if he wanted to be a serious rock musician. Kusano Hironori and Uchi Hiroki were expelled later for underage drinking, causing a mini riot among the fangirls in the school. The teachers had to stop all academic-related activities due to the school-wide depression that took place.
(Some even formed a support group.)
Other six members of NEWS graduated without a hitch, but they made use of their former glory to establish a group dedicated to the betterment of the society. Needless to say, their methods clashed spectacularly with KAT-TUN’s.
Even in their methods of dealing with the alleged affair between their leaders.
--
It’s bound to happen really. Being rivals demands that they spend a lot of time keeping up to date on their opponent's whereabouts.
It started on that night they were punished for almost starting a fight in Madame Christine’s newly opened bar. Kame was so embarrassed, he retreated backstage to hopefully dig a hole to bury himself in. He had found Yamapi there too, and to his surprise, he wasn’t revolted at the sight of Yamapi’s tall figure slanting against the curtains, his manboobs threatening to burst from his overly tight shirts.
They both walked nearer to each other, as though drawn by some mysterious magnetic force, and laughed heartily. When they finally stopped laughing, they reenacted the whole performance by repeating the chorus dance moves and singing off-key. Kame thought that Yamapi could be rather dorky.
(And his manboobs were kind of attractive.)
The phone rang some time later. It was Nakamaru, worried if Kame was fighting with Yamapi. Kame told him that he was just taking a break, and would rejoin the rest of The Wheels in just a moment.
“I need to leave,” Kame had said to Yamapi.
Neither of them saw it coming. Before they knew it, they were clashing their lips together, hands pulling each other closer and then, simultaneously falling to the floor. Yamapi was on top of Kame, his leg in between Kame’s, knees rubbing against Kame’s crotch. Kame tugged Yamapi’s belt, one hand slipping in his pants and another pulling his collar. They were kissing violently and clumsily until the phone rang again.
This time, it was Yamapi’s. Kame pushed Yamapi away, realizing with a jolt who he had been making out with, then dashed out to meet his gang.
It’s now happening again.
He doesn’t want it to happen, but he decides that he could maybe use it to his benefit. He figures that if he could get some dirt on Yamapi, NEWS will leave The Wheels alone and they could operate without having to bump into Koyama or Shige’s objections or worse, Tegoshi’s high-pitched whine, which seems to annoy Koki by its barely audible echoes alone.
He invites Yamapi into his apartment, claiming that they need to talk. Yamapi agrees.
Kame closes the door behind him. Then, it happens. They are standing there, just standing next to Kame’s apartment door and the next thing that happens is Yamapi’s body pushing him against the door. Kame pulls Yamapi’s closer by his shirt, and Yamapi obliges by bringing his forehead close to Kame’s. His face is so close, Kame can feel his minty breath. The game is on, he thinks.
There’s a lingering touch, a hold that isn’t aimed to hurt, but to entrap. Yamapi’s obviously up to something and Kame isn't about to let him get away with it. So, he places his hand on the other man's behind and squeezes. Yamapi's eyes widened in surprise and Kame feels like he has just won that particular battle. He flexes his hand - maybe if he sneaks in one more squeeze, he would feel double the accomplishment?
Then Yamapi ups the game and he doesn't just squeeze, he pinches and pats and bites. Well, Kame is never one to back down from a challenge.
Trailing is a delicate exercise and when one of them is discovered, confrontation would naturally lead to fighting. So they squeeze and pinch and pat and bite and stroke.
After all, didn't they say: Keep your friends close and your enemies closer?
--
Nishikido Ryo has always been impulsively acidic in his speech. He spares no one and expects no one to spare him.
Nevertheless, there are things that Yamapi never expect to hear from Ryo. “I think you’re screwing with Kamenashi.”
Yamapi almost spits out his morning milk. “What are you saying?”
Then again, Yamapi never expected that to come from anyone. Hasn’t he been cautious enough?
“Aren’t you? I keep seeing you in the Wheels headquarters, and I assume that you’re offering Kamenashi some kind of peace treaty? Since he saw you in your most embarrassing moment?”
Oh, that. Yamapi has panicked for no reason.
“He’s actually a nice person.”
The rest of NEWS spit out their milk.
--
Koki has always strangely mesmerized Tegoshi; and it started way before Koki’s head resembled a microphone.
Then again, Tegoshi has always been oddly attracted to people whose personality is rough on all edges. He used to feel intimidated by Ryo, until he called Ryo ‘Ryo-tan’ one day and had Ryo called him ‘Tego-nyan’ back, courtesy of his rather effective cat impersonations. He believes that he can, someday, make Koki call him ‘Tego-nyan’ too. Preferably now – he has something important to talk to Koki about.
There are a lot of hurdles to overcome, however.
Everytime Tegoshi goes to the Wheels headquarters, something always happens.
Once, he overheard Koki yelling at Taguchi.
“Stand still! I can’t do it if you keep moving!”
“I am standing still, be careful, Ko-ahhhhh!”
“Shut up Taguchi, I’m trying to be gentle here.”
Tegoshi ran away immediately, trying hard to erase the conversation from his head.
Another time, he accidentally spied on Koki speaking to Ueda.
“Uepomu, the wall is innocent.”
Ueda wasn’t saying anything.
“Uepomu, take a deep breath.”
Tegoshi heard someone (Ueda?) inhale and then there was a deafening sound of broken bricks. He dashed back to the NEWS clubhouse, pretending to have been jogging.
This time he will face his fears of Koki, Tegoshi thinks determinedly. He has texted Koki (he got his number from Massu, who got Koki’s number from Nakamaru) about an hour ago, informing him that he’s coming to the headquarters. He wouldn’t have resorted to seeking Koki’s help if not for his greater fear for Ueda and Taguchi, and he dearly hopes that his adorableness could somehow work its magic.
Koki answers the door casually. “I got your text, is there anything wrong?”
Tegoshi takes a glance at the room behind Koki. “Koki-kun, is that a sewing machine?”
Koki looks back at the room and scratches his head. “Oh yes, that is. Kame tore his vintage jeans yesterday and he doesn’t trust anyone else to fix it for him, especially not his mom.”
Tegoshi is beginning to understand what had happened behind those conversations he overheard.
“Were you sewing Taguchi-kun’s clothes the other day?”
Koki’s eyes widen. “How do you know?”
“I heard you guys. To be honest, it-“
“Did it scare you?” Koki asks, laughing.
Tegoshi nods, laughing along.
“So,” Koki asks, “what do you want to ask me about?”
Tegoshi takes a deep breath. “Koki-kun, has Kamenashi-kun been a little weird lately?”
Koki thinks. “Not that I know of.”
“Specifically, when it comes to our Leader?”
“Ah!” Koki seems to have remembered something. “I think I saw your leader leaving the headquarters just a few days ago-“
“Was it for a discussion? Yamashita-kun has been talking about how he is getting help from Kame-“
“His zipper was wide open.”
Tegoshi falls silent.
“Oh.”
“Yea,” Koki answers knowingly.
--
Akanishi Jin is a strange case.
He’s best friends with Yamapi, but he’s also best friends with Kame and is one of the most popular Wheels member.
(He and Kame share some pretty complicated history. A history that will take ten years worth of investigation, discussion, and debate to be able to reach a conclusion for.)
With Yamapi and Kame not on speaking terms, he was often subjected to very obscure conversations that include both Yamapi and Kame refusing to refer to each other with their actual names. Yamapi would call Kame ‘the skinny meatless skeleton’ and Kame would call Yamapi ‘the walking pair of manboobs’.
A few months before Jin moved to America as a transfer student, Yamapi and Kame started addressing each other using actual names.
He left Japan, feeling relieved that he wouldn’t have to stay up all night anticipating or imagining actual skeletons fighting with boobs if Kame and Yamapi at least know how not to yell rude names at each other.
Finding them on a bed, his bed, Yamapi on top of Kame, isn’t exactly what he has on his mind when he returns to Japan for a semester break.
--
Ueda Tatsuya has a gift of seeing things nobody is really supposed to be seeing.
It’s late, and Ueda is going back to the headquarters because he has left his old boxing gloves on his desk. He bumps into Ryo on his way there. He winces. They have never been fond of each other’s faces.
“Hey Shorty.”
“Hey Pale Lips.”
Ueda rolls his eyes. “What are you doing here anyway?”
“I’m not here alone,” Ryo says, and Tegoshi jumps out from the corner of the headquarters.
“At the back, Ryo-tan!”
Ueda is not amused. “Are you two spying on us?”
“Not you,” Ryo answers. “Your leader. And ours.”
Ueda follows them to the back of the headquarters.
The store room is lit up, and the three of them barricade themselves with the help of a tree nearby.
They can see Kame and Yamapi, though fuzzily, through the dusty glass panes.
The silhouettes of Kame and Yamapi don’t seem to be doing anything, and Ueda doesn’t understand the need to spy on them. They are perfectly them – Kame’s slightly shorter body facing Yamapi’s, glaring daggers towards him and Yamapi returning the glare by –
KISSING HIM.
Unless Ueda has gone temporarily mad, he has just seen Kame and Yamapi –his stomach gives a very twisting churn at the thought of it- making out and probably leaning towards having some sort of wallsex later. Not the sweet and slow making out between two people in love, but the needy, hungry and consuming kind. Ueda can tell because the silhouette of Kame is apparently wrestling with Yamapi’s, and now he’s pinning Yamapi to the wall, mercilessly ripping his shirt open, Yamapi slipping his hand inside Kame’s pants, bring him closer and grinding against him.
"W-what are they doing?" Ueda asks, his face going green.
"Your ugly-ass leader is getting all over ours," Ryo answers and Ueda turns to give him a glare.
"Say that again, Nishikido? I think that little whimper just came from Yamashita. Too bad your leader can't handle ours."
"Too bad your leader can't keep his hands to himself-"
"-uh, Ryo?" Tegoshi interrupts, looking on in fascination at the fight bursting into action in front of both gangs. "I think that's Yamapi's hand on Kamenashi-kun’s butt..."
Ueda and Ryo stop bickering just as they hear something pounding from the room they are spying.
They all silently agree on holding separate discussions to decide what to think about what they have just seen their leaders doing.
--
Shige finds himself the focus of the room when he enters the NEWS clubhouse.
“Where’s Yamapi?” he asks, noticing the obvious absence.
“Probably in the Wheels headquarters,” Ryo snorts and Tegoshi shrieks, “Ryo-tan!”
“Guys,” Koyama raises his hand, calling for attention. “We have a problem.”
Shige thinks he knows what the secret meeting is all about.
“Kamenashi, right?”
“Yes, he has been-“ Ryo looks at Massu.
Massu swallows the mouthful of tart he’s having. “-having an affair with our leader.”
Shige hears his fellow NEWS members shift in discomfort in their seats.
“So what do we do now?”
Ryo answers. “Stop the rumours about Yamapi being gay. The problem is how.”
The others twitch. “Ryo-tan, you’re not helping,” Tegoshi says.
“No, Tegoshi,” Ryo snaps.
“I don’t care if it’s any other rumour but this one. It pains me to say this, but, even, even-” Ryo couldn’t finish his sentence.
The clubhouse phone rings and Shige picks it at the fourth ring.
“Shige?” Yokoyama’s animated voice greets.
“I hear from Ryo-chan that you have dirt on Yamapi and that Kamenashi, tell us more!”
Shige looks at Ryo hesitantly.
“The Kansai fans were sending the Kanjani boys letters asking about Kamenashi and Yamapi,” Ryo explains, exasperated.
--
“They were on my bed!”
“Akanishi,” Koki is trying to calm Jin down. “We swear we didn’t know this is happening-“
“My bed, Koki, MY BED.”
“Ok, that was worse than me seeing them doing it in the storeroom,” Ueda adds.
“Ueda, my bed.”
Koki holds both of Jin’s hands. “I know, we are equally traumatised.”
“Koki, it was my bed.”
“Guys, should we buy them tickets to Venice?” Taguchi suggests.
Nobody answers him.
“What were they doing on your bed anyway?” Ueda asks.
“I don’t know, ok? I just got home and they have my keys for emergency purposes and I opened the door and really,” Jin replies, “do you want to know?”
They let out a collective “eww”.
Koki starts. “Yeah, I wouldn’t want to know if their pants are still on them-“
Jin continues after him. “-and if they are off them, I’m not eager to know how they look like without the pants-“
Ueda also adds. “-or in which position they were doing it-“
“Doggy style?” Koki asks.
“I prefer the good old missionary style,” Jin disagrees.
“Who was on top?” Taguchi, asking the correct question this time around.
“Were there foreplays?” Ueda’s curiosity grows.
“Guys,” Nakamaru interrupts, “I don’t think they are having an affair.”
The other four turn to him. “What?”
“Yucchi, didn’t you see Yamapi leaving Kame’s apartment that day?” Koki asks.
“But Yamapi was bruised all over! How could they be in love and injured at the same time?”
They go quiet, and look at each other dubiously, wondering if they should bother enlightening Nakamaru.
“H-how do you know Kame was injured?” Koki asks.
“I went shopping with him.”
“That doesn’t explain anything,” Ueda presses, continuing the interrogation session.
“He was having troubles choosing between two leather jackets.”
Taguchi’s next. “Fine, where were the bruises?”
“I saw some on the neck-“
They gasp.
Jin’s disgusted. “Please don’t say that there were more.”
“On the arms, yea-“
They gasp louder.
“I think there were some on the back too.”
Ueda knows that it’s time for him to do his duties as the ex-leader. He exchanges determined looks with the other three.
“Nakamaru, don’t you think someone should help to treat Kame’s injuries?”
--
Yamapi knows there’s something wrong when his group members plan a night’s out in a flashy club for him.
(It won’t be weird if it’s coming from Ryo, but Ryo is hardly thoughtful enough to plan anything for anyone.)
Especially when it comes from Koyama and Shige.
“Why?”
Koyama nudges Shige, who answers, “We think you need to relax,” and nudges Koyama back.
“I have spoken to Madame Christine, she said she would like to introduce you to some of the newer ViVi models,” Koyama adds.
Yamapi furrows his eyebrows. “What is this about?”
Before anyone of them can answer, Tegoshi interrupts them, fresh out of the changing room.
“Hey guys, do I look good?”
He’s dressed in a plain white lacey dress with a blonde wig and heavy makeup. He’s gleaming and twirling, obviously enjoying the way feminine clothes look on him, until he stops turning and sees Yamapi.
“You aren’t supposed to see this yet!” Tegoshi runs back into the changing room.
Yamapi couldn’t help but laugh. “You guys need to tell me now,” he points towards Koyama and Shige.
Both of them look at each other and shrug.
Koyama starts, “we feel that some female companionship could do some good to you, and Tegoshi, he-“
“-feels that we should also try to experiment other forms of female companionship.”
Yamapi feels lucky not to be drinking anything right that moment. He could have choked on it.
--
Nakamaru comes over rather late for his standard.
“It’s 9pm,” Kame reminds him.
“I forgot to tell you that Akanishi’s home.”
“I saw him,” Kame tells Nakamaru, filtering out the entire story on how he has come to know that Jin’s back for the semester break.
“Oh,” Nakamaru says, obviously trying to find another excuse.
“Just say it.”
“Theyaskedmetocheckonyou,” Nakamaru says in one breath.
Kame blinks. “Okay,” he answers. “I’m alive, I guess?”
“No,” Nakamaru shifts uneasily, “I told them you are injured and they asked me to check on you.”
“Right. And they are not here themselves?”
“Kame..”
“Come on, Nakamaru, is Jin mad at me?”
“No one is mad at you.”
“He told you things.”
“Yes, he told me – no, that’s not it!”
“Just say it.”
“I bought some of your favourite band-aids. Just let me check on you?”
“Snoopy?”
“Patrick. The new pattern.”
Kame loves band-aids with cute, puppy dog prints. Nakamaru discovered the fact when Kame saw the Snoopy band-aids his sister kept in his bag for him, and requested that Nakamaru kept some for him. It’s how Nakamaru gets away with things like ‘fraternising with the enemy’ (the very words Jin used, yes; he learned them from the Harry Potter books) and ‘not reflecting the gang image’ (according to Koki).
“Your neck,” Nakamaru orders.
“Fine.”
Kame takes off his shirt while Nakamaru peels off the band-aids. Nakamaru then pats his bruises gently and slowly sticks the bandages. Nakamaru has always been gentle with him, something Kame really appreciates.
Then, Nakamaru becomes even gentler. He begins to massage Kame’s back, starting from the small of his back all the way to his shoulders. Nakamaru’s rather skillful hands press and drag equally on his left and right, unwinding his tensed nerves. He feels as though a calming current of energy is flowing from Nakamaru’s hands into his entire body. Kame closes his eyes, basking in being pampered so thoroughly.
“A bit to the right,” Kame says softly.
Nakamaru shifts the pressure from his hands. “Here?”
Kame moans in pleasure. Nakamaru’s hands feel like they are fixing everything that’s haywire inside him, some sort of correctional chakra that connects every nerve together. Most of all, Kame feels like his body has been given a breath of fresh air.
It relaxes Kame. He starts breathing slower and his muscles are loosening up. Sometimes Kame wonders if Nakamaru’s as skillful with other parts of his body, but Nakamaru looks like he wouldn’t be able to understand what Kame’s real question is anyway.
“It feels good,” Kame whispers.
“Really?” Nakamaru leans forward, his chest leaning against Kame’s back.
“Yea,” Kame answers, gently squeezing Nakamaru’s hand.
Nakamaru leans away and moves to his neck, gently massaging and stroking him. “How does it feel?”
“Really good,” Kame sighs happily.
Nakamaru misses a spot and accidentally presses one of his many bruises. “OUCH!”
“Sorry, I’ll be gentler.”
“No, it’s ok, I can endure it. Please do it harder.”
“Alright.”
Nakamaru continues until Kame’s satisfied, leaving Kame sleeping soundlessly.
--
He shows up at the Wheels headquarters the next day with a recording.
“Here,” Nakamaru says as he hands over the USB drive.
“Great,” Ueda says, patting Nakamaru’s arm.
“It’s my turn now?” Taguchi flaps his laptop open.
“We are counting on you,” Koki says.
“Trust me. It will be the hottest thing anyone has ever heard.”
Nakamaru blanks. “I thought it’s for emotional analysis?”
Ueda and Taguchi grin at each other. “Yes, for Yamapi.”
Nakamaru regretfully realises that he has been tricked.
“So much for ‘persuading Kame that he needs a vacation’, guys,” he whines, “what if Kame gets mad at me?”
Taguchi chooses that moment to play the recording and broadcast Kame’s whimpers of pleasure from his laptop.
“You can always offer him another massage,” he suggests.
Nakamaru winces at the request. Not that he doesn’t like massaging Kame, but it’s getting harder now that Kame’s gaining weight in preparation for a huge baseball game. There’s also the fact that his muscles are getting harder.
As he watches his gang members bustling around with the recording, he’s hit with a sudden realisation.
“Is this about Yamapi?”
“Oh, now you know,” Ueda answers with a deadpan voice. “Took you long enough.”
“Why?”
Ueda and Taguchi both stare at him.
“I don’t care who Kame’s fucking, but if this means truce with NEWS, I am not doing it. Not especially when I need to look at Nishikido’s face,” Ueda answers.
“I’m alright with whoever Kazuya’s been messing with, but I like it better when everyone’s fighting,” Taguchi replies with a smirk.
Nakamaru’s not sure if he wants to convince them that they might be wrong.
--
“Dude, I’m sorry, we didn’t know you were coming home,” Yamapi says to Jin.
They’re in the club, an outing Koyama and Shige have planned for Yamapi and he asks Jin to come along. He knows that nothing pleases Jin more than a few shots of alcohol and pretty girls.
“Please tell me I don’t have to wash my sheets,” Jin shouts over the pounding bass; Like A G6 is blasting.
Yamapi doesn’t answer right away.
“I take it as a confirmation that I do need to wash my sheets,” Jin helps.
Yamapi shrugs. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s ok, whatever. You guys are making up and also making out. I’m glad,” Jin says.
“Honestly?”
“Yes.”
“What did the others say – did you tell them?”
“They …,” Jin hesitates, “not really.”
Yamapi raises his eyebrows. “What?”
Jin pulls him to the restroom. It’s quieter there.
“Look, you’re my friend, ok? Mabudachi?”
“Yea?”
“I really don’t want to hurt you.”
“What?”
Jin slips something tiny into Yamapi’s pocket.
“That’s Kame. And Nakamaru. I called them a few weeks ago, and had forgotten to hang up. It dried up my phone credits but that was what I heard on the phone.”
Yamapi feels like he doesn’t want to know what Jin means by that.
“I don’t understand. Do I really need to know this?”
“Let’s just say that me walking in on you guys making out the other day wasn’t the first time I was exposed to Kame making out with anyone.”
--
“YOU GAVE OUR LEADER AN AUDIO RECORDING OF KAME AND NAKAMARU HAVING SEX?”
Koki presses a finger on Tegoshi’s lips. “Not so loud! Nakamaru’s still around!”
Tegoshi mouths a little apology.
“It’s not exactly a sex recording, just a highly edited recording of a pleasurable act,” Koki says, enjoying seeing Tegoshi wince with every euphemism. “Akanishi didn’t tell Yamapi what it is, just that he has seen Kame make out with other people too, not just Yamapi.”
Koki sees Tegoshi’s look of apprehension. “Fine, I might as well say it. Akanishi walked in on me and Kame accidentally making out.”
Tegoshi giggles.
“He was drunk, and that was when he had just graduated,” Koki adds.
“Koki-kun, I never knew you –“
“I’m not gay, ok?” Koki insists. “But he’s a great kisser, Yamapi’s really lucky to have tapped that.”
Tegoshi, however, has come to ask for Koki’s help. He has even accidentally torn the white lacey dress while speedily undressing from the cross-dressing fiasco.
“But Yamashita-kun,” Tegoshi says worriedly, “he will be heartbroken.”
Koki dismisses his worries. “They are just having plenty of sex. There are no real feelings there.”
“What if they really do fancy each other?”
Koki thinks.
“If they do, this might be the time to test it.”
Tegoshi looks at him curiously.
“You see,” Koki swallows, “him.. being.. with.. your leader..”
“-might take us some time to adjust to. Right,” Tegoshi agrees.
“Yeah.”
--
The rumour spread like wildfire, overpowering the previous rumour.
It seems to have an effect that is rather undesirable to both The Wheels and NEWS, and for some time, both groups realise that it would have been better to keep the rumour about Kame and Yamapi’s secret tryst than to have them involved in a love square involving Nakamaru and Jin.
“Since when am I even involved in this?” Jin shouts in the headquarters.
“Apparently someone saw you being up close and personal with Pi in the club the other day,” Taguchi says, checking his newsfeed on the internet. Jin has always been wondering about how Taguchi knows everything about everyone.
“So now I’m apparently involved with Yamapi, who is apparently involved with Kame, who’s apparently involved with Nakamaru,” Jin concludes. “Fucking gross.”
Nobody disagrees.
“Why can’t it involve a girl at least? Then I can go back to LA knowing that I have had a fulfilling summer,” Jin whines.
Koki pats his shoulder.
--
“Yamashita-kun, what would you like for dinner tonight?”
“Anything will do, Tegoshi.”
“Yamapi, here’s today’s newspaper, would you like to read it?”
“Just put it under the door, thanks Koyama.”
“I bought some delicious eggtarts, wanna try?”
“It’s ok, Massu. Please put it in the fridge, I’ll eat them later.”
“I have the new Britney CD!”
“I can download it myself, Shige.”
“It’s summer. Come out, Jin said that some of his classmates from LA are coming for a visit. They will be staying in an onsen, time to offer them the Japanese hospitality.”
“I don’t feel like talking to anyone from the Wheels, Ryo.”
Yamapi has been locking himself in his bedroom for a few days after the night’s out, and everybody’s worried. They have been trying to lure him out, hoping that they will be able to talk sense into him.
“I think he’s too heartbroken,” Tegoshi theorises.
“I think he just needs a girl,” Ryo offers.
“I think he’s too gay to function,” Shige says.
Everybody look at him, stunned.
“Did you just quote Mean Girls?” Koyama asks.
Shige flails, realising that he has probably been lost in translation.
“Sorry, I think I used it wrongly, I will consult Akanishi tomorrow!”
--
“Kame-chan, it’s late. You have been practicing pitching for ten straight hours,” Koki says.
“Kame, you should eat,” Nakamaru hands him a bento box.
“Kazuya, your pitching’s great!”
Three pairs of eyes glare daggers at Taguchi in a you-just-negated-everything-we-said-you-idiot way, which Taguchi replies with a perhaps-reverse-psychology-might-work grin. Kame is out on the training field, endlessly pitching to the wall with an intense determination that seems to imply that he has a murderous intention to damage the wall
Koki whispers to Ueda, “Where’s Akanishi?”
Ueda shrugs. “No idea. Mourning over his lack of manliness, I’m guessing.”
“Kame, you know that what they are saying is not true, right?” Nakamaru says, nervously.
There’s a loud thud of the ball hitting the wall. Again.
“That’s not what I’m concerned about,” Kame answers flatly.
“Come on, Kame-chan, talk to us,” Koki finally gives in and begs. “We can go through this.”
Kame stares at the wall for what seems to be an hour (it’s probably just one minute) then speaks. “You know, I think I need to go to the NEWS clubhouse.”
He drops his bat and his gloves, then puts on his leather jacket and strolls past all of them bossily, a sign Ueda, Taguchi, Nakamaru, and Koki take that Kame’s destruction mode is approaching and will be doing some damage on the NEWS clubhouse.
“Are you guys coming?”
A united chorus of “HELL, YEAH” follows.
“Great, call Akanishi too.”
--
Tegoshi knocks on the door.
“Yamashita-kun, you need to come out.”
“I’m tired.”
“No, seriously, you need to!”
“Tell me about it later.”
Ryo steps forward and pushes Tegoshi aside. “Move over, let me do it.”
“Kamenashi dragged his fugly ass here. Get down, we need to settle things as fast as possible,” Ryo says.
Yamapi finally opens the door.
“Where’s he?”
--
Kame stares at the group of people in front of him. Yamapi’s in the middle, looking scruffy and unkempt.
“You look like shit,” he says.
“And you look gay,” Yamapi hisses.
“Not as gay as you,” Kame pushes Yamapi’s shoulder. “Seriously, Jin? Our Jin? You have got some guts stepping into our territory.”
“Jin is not your,” Yamapi grabs Kame’s collar, “territory. Seriously, is this the way you treat your people? No wonder you people are so fucked up. And seriously, Nakamaru? Of all the fucked up boys in your gang you can mess with?”
“Not as fucked up as you, Yamashita-kun,” Kame growls. “Good boys don’t fight, remember?”
“Well, then, badass leaders who fight to draw blood don’t take advantage of their nicest members,” Yamapi retorts.
Kame sees the rest of NEWS backing away. “Come on, hit me, Yamashita-kun,” he challenges.
It might just be his imagination, but he thinks he sees some sort of hesitation in Yamapi’s eyes. It’s hard to tell - Kame could never tell things from Yamapi’s eyes. He used to think it was only problematic when he was trying to determine whether Yamapi wanted to top or be topped, but right now he’s also having problems trying to determine whether Yamapi wants to hit or be hit.
“I can’t,” Yamapi says after swallowing his saliva, and he runs a finger down Kame’s chest.
“No, hit me,” Kame insists, growing nervous by the minute.
Yamapi looks at Kame with a forlorn look, a look Kame usually sees on him when he slips his hand inside Kame’s shirt while Kame tugs him close.
“Don’t give me that look,” Kame instructs.
“I am not doing this,” Yamapi sighs, taking a step back.
“After all that antagonising, you’re not going to hit me?”
Kame clenches his fist. “Fine, I will.” He delivers a punch to Yamapi’s face, hurting his nose.
Yamapi staggers, then wipes his nose, staining his fist with his own blood.
“Oh no you didn’t,” he roars at Kame. He pushes Kame to the grounds and jumps on top of him and does the unpredictable.
He pins Kame’s hands above him, then lowers himself to give him an open-mouthed kiss. Kame struggles to break free, but Yamapi’s kissing him like he’s a starving person who has just found his oasis. Kame doesn’t know what to do to stop him, so he bites his lips and gathers all his inner strength to roll aside so that he can be above Yamapi. But Yamapi’s strength endures his bite; he pushes Kame’s head down with his hand tangling in his hair, and they don’t stop to breathe until Kame stops fighting Yamapi off.
Nobody else knows what to do.
“Get a room, you two,” Ryo’s eyes rolling in disgust.
“Which will not be mine,” Jin orders cautiously.
--
The unexpectedly public shenanigan miraculously settled everything. The fangirls are now more pleased than ever, and all the members of Ultimate Wheels (including Jin) and NEWS signed an unspoken agreement to never publicly talk about Kame and Yamapi, in hopes that the tension between could dissipate into their bedrooms instead of having it blaze it everywhere.
“Akanishi is so lucky,” Koki complains as he patches up Tegoshi’s pants. “He’s not here to endure all the lovey-dovey stuff between Kame-chan and that, that –“
“Yamashita-kun?” Tegoshi adds.
“Yea, him.”
“You can call him Yamapi, you know,” Shige interrupts. He’s doing a book review of the translated version of Twilight with Nakamaru and Koyama. Koki can hear them debating on whether Stephanie Meyer has intended the readers to want to be Bella or to want Edward.
“I GOT YOU!” Taguchi yells triumphantly.
“Oh man,” Masuda whines, “you’re too good.”
Taguchi grins and reruns his game, gleefully detailing his gameplans to a very enthusiastic Masuda.
On the other end of the NEWS clubhouse that they are hanging out in, Ryo and Ueda are arguing on who has be the better grasp on playing the guitar.
Nobody seems to care about both Kame and Yamapi until Jin calls.
“I’m sleepy,” Jin yawns on the Skype webcam. “Let’s get this over and done with.”
They play janken, and this time, Koki loses. “You go,” Taguchi nudges him. “Whoever loses has to call Kame and Yamapi, right?”
Koki slumps in frustration. “You guys better hope they are not-“
He’s stopped by the sound of bodies falling to the floor.
They pause for a while, until Jin calls for their attention. “Hello, guys?”
“Would you mind calling tomorrow?” Koki asks.
Jin scowls. “Tell Kame I said ‘FUCK YOU’.”
“Don’t worry, Yamapi’s doing that on your behalf,” Koki answers.
“Shit.”
--
Note: Everything I know about KAT-TUN, I know them. 90% of what I know about NEWS, however, comes from this amazing pimp post. I apologize if I have portrayed them inaccurately in this one. OTL
Pairings: Kame/Pi, and a lot of other ninja pairings (spot them!)
Wordcount: 7537
Rating: PG-13
Warning: Vulgar language, crack, tons of fandom in-jokes
Summary: Kame and Yamapi are leaders of two rivaling gangs. Then Seishun Amigo happens.
Notes: This fic is inspired by this prompt, and contains snippets written by
scorch66 and cease11 in the very same thread. Thanks to pinkeuphoria1 for the last minute beta, all other mistakes are mine. --
They all fear him.
Kamenashi Kazuya is one of those gang leaders that didn’t get their position through intimidation. There are no tattoos on his body, hidden knives, visible scars or scruffy appearances. He even has people calling him ‘Kame-chan’, which is most probably the least intimidating nickname for a gang leader ever.
Some people say that he could have passed off as a seasoned host who works in one of those Roppongi clubs. Most people just say he could have been a model if he wanted to. Of course, nobody tells it to his face, or to his gang members.
They, the Ultimate Wheels gang, are well known for their popularity within the racing circle (and off the racing circle), thanks to their ace racer Taguchi Junnosuke, but they are officially known as KAT-TUN. They all hate the name. Rumours has it that they fought during the meeting to rename themselves (one which they vehemently deny with all their might), which included broken furniture and flying fists. They say something else also went on during the meeting, though nobody asks. Kamenashi Kazuya, they say, will glare at everybody who is not part of the main committee if they so much as ask about what had happened during that infamous meeting.
He has the Glare. Apparently, it’s enough.
Just ask the Wheels Jr members.
--
Yamashita Tomohisa is a nicer leader, they say.
And that his group (they refuse to call themselves a ‘gang’) is far nicer in general.
There’s an alleged rivalry between Yamashita’s group, NEWS, and KAT-TUN that extends to even their fans. People can tell who is a fan of NEWS and who is a fan of KAT-TUN –if you like NEWS, you’re very likely to be young, innocent, and peace-loving and if you’re a fan of KAT-TUN, you’re very likely to be dressed in gyaru manner, wear too much makeup, and talk like the whole world offended you– almost right away.
NEWS has a reputation for being the ‘smart’ ones. According to the official statistics, four out of the six main committee members of the NEWS gang are graduates from top universities, majoring in intellectual things like literature and law and other things that sound smart. They are known for being every mother’s dream ‘boy you wish your daughter would come home with’. Topping that chart is Yamashita, with all the Wheels members (with only Kamenashi ranking slightly higher; many people think that he would have been ranked much higher if not for his reputation of being The Drunk You Wouldn’t Approach Ever) ranking the bottom, along with Yamashita’s fellow NEWS member, Nishikido Ryo.
Most people think that Ryo is mean, but nobody really takes his meanness seriously. They just think he’s a tsundere and it strangely heightens his moe points.
People do know that two of Wheels members, Tanaka Koki and Nakamaru Yuichi (albeit still an undergraduate and only recently having enrolled himself in Waseda) are also tertiary-educated with smart-sounding qualifications, but nobody really cares.
The Wheels members decided that their university pedigrees would only drag their reputation down anyway.
--
Among the Wheels, Koki looks the most intimidating. “Next to Kame-chan, obviously,” he will say while running his hand through his hair.
He’s not very scary-looking now that he has hair on his head, but when he had no hair, he was The Scary One You Should Avoid At All Costs. People used to think that he’s the new Yakuza in town when he shaved his head, not realising that it was the same Koki, only with no hair. Koki, who was too trigger-happy with the new microphone lookalike head that seemed to be capable of reducing people of all ages into puddles of shaking goo, went a few steps further. He got himself a few tattoos and bought more scary-looking (preferably those with sharp edges and skull motifs) accessories. He also shaved his eyebrows a little too thin (he was at least careful to let it be slightly thicker than Kame’s, albeit only very slightly), and purposely ripped parts of his clothes so that they looked edgy and intimidating. He also took the habit to speaking as though the whole world offended him, a habit that would take over their entire fandom.
Only he ended up being more intimidating than he had intended. So intimidating, people started thinking that he ate dogs instead of rearing them.
He ‘gradually changed’ after growing out his hair. He slowly reduced his ‘gangsta’-ness to become more ‘sexy’ than ‘badass’, but first impressions last.
Unfortunately.
--
Yamashita Tomohisa is better known as Yamapi, and he hates Kame.
Kamenashi is better known by his nickname, Kame, and he hates Yamapi.
Nobody knows exactly why they hate each other, though rumour has it that it had something to do with either Kame being ugly (probability to be true - 20%), fighting over an ex-Wheels, Akanishi Jin (probability – 75%), fighting over a girl (probability – 80%) or brawling over a territory (probability – 90%).
Something weird happened about a year ago that had sort of changed everything.
It was during another almost-brawl they had, in a bar. It was new then, owned by a badass okama-san (who reportedly had a thing for Kame, and still has) named Madame Christine. Madame Christine had settled the Kame-Yamapi tension by forcing them to perform a total hit but completely fucking lame song called Seishun Amigo by this temporary unit called Shuuji to Akira in front of her (or is it his? Nobody speaks of Madame Christine’s gender openly, unless he has a deathwish) over a hundred customers.
It was a show witnessed by all of the Wheels and NEWS. Obviously, no one ever dares to mention that again in front of either one of them.
However, they still secretly laugh over any mention of ‘amigo’.
“Fun times, eh?” Taguchi would say in between laughters. Everyone agrees.
--
Ask Tegoshi Yuya what NEWS, as a group, actually does.
He will flash you a very blinding smile, and tell you that NEWS gathers various boys of different backgrounds to uphold the values of the society. To bring happiness to everyone.
Their fans and you will go starry-eyed.
Ask Ueda Tatsuya what The Wheels (or KAT-TUN) as a gang, actually does.
He will flash you a very blinding smile and tell you something cryptic. Like “are you sure you want to know?”, then point to Koki yelling things at Taguchi Junnosuke.
Their fans will go starry-eyed. Your response, however, will depend on your stance on sadism and masochism.
--
Kato Shigeaki knows enough law to know that there’s a way to offer The Wheels a truce. Not that it will make them fight less, but at least it can probably help to reduce catfights between their fans.
Shige tries to suggest it to Yamapi, who comes back one day looking like he has been intoxicated. Yamapi only nods.
Happy, he goes to Koyama Keiichiro, who will definitely be able to help him. Koyama’s extensive knowledge in language should be able to help, he thinks.
Koyama doesn’t think that NEWS actually needs to offer the Wheels a truce or any other truce-like tokens of peace.
Shige asks, but Koyama only says “I will tell you when I have it confirmed.”
--
Nakamaru Yuichi is the oldest committee member of The Wheels, but he’s often mistaken to be one of NEWS.
Kame says it’s because he hangs out too much with Masuda Takahisa.
“You should have hung out with me instead, at least then I can help to affirm your identity,” Kame had said.
Koki had agreed. “Yucchi, you should follow my example.”
“What? Shave my head then grow the hair back and dye it impossible colours?”
“Be gangsta.”
Nakamaru preferred his argyle sweaters back then, and he still does prefer his comfortable sweaters.
“No way, you guys are too-“
“But you’re the oldest in Wheels, it’s time you at least reflect us in some ways,” Ueda had added.
“What is this? Doubting my loyalty?”
“FUCKING DIE!!!” Taguchi Junnosuke had shouted from across the room, eyes set on defeating the Super Mario and fingers frantically maneuvering the console.
“SHUT UP, TAGUCHI!”. The Wheels have always been consistently united when dealing with Taguchi.
Back then, Nakamaru was saved by Taguchi.
But now, he’s not so lucky.
He doesn’t really understand the need to be hostile towards the other gang, and it’s not like they cross each other’s path that often, with NEWS taking care of the noble causes and The Wheels taking care of the shadier ones.
“It feels like being in Romeo and Juliet,” Masuda Takahisa says, mouth busily eating the latest sample of melon buns Nakamaru got him. “Only you and I are nowhere near that level of lovey-dovey-ness.”
Nakamaru laughs at the irony of their situation. “It was worse during our high school days, remember? Sometimes we would have real brawls and you would call me asking if I have extra antiseptic lotions because Ryo needed it and Osaka was too far away to ask for help.”
They bump their knuckles together. “We are still the Secret Agent Men,” Masuda says, crumbs of the melon bun falling like snowflakes onto his pants.
--
It all started during high school when a senior, Domoto Koichi formed a special committee made up of six randomly-selected boys, said to be a temporary unit, to be guarding the school after school hours to defend it against the small local biker gang who had threatened to mess up the school festival. Koichi had named them by assembling the first letters from their initials into a pronounceable word – KAT-TUN.
(There were two T’s among them, Tanaka and Taguchi. They drew out who was supposed to be the first T via janken. Koki was certain that he would definitely win the janken game, but he didn’t know that Taguchi was the King of Games, including janken.)
A large segment of the student council doubted Koichi’s decision but allowed the unit to exist anyway. It was the school’s fiftieth festival and they needed to execute every conceivable method there was. One of them was bound to work somehow, they had believed.
To everyone’s surprise, KAT-TUN was the method that worked. Thanks to Taguchi’s connections with someone the others have yet to figure out even to this day, they busted the hideout of the local gang that had threatened the school and brought them to the police. The five other members of KAT-TUN believed that it was the reason for their latent tolerance towards Taguchi for the many years to come.
They had built such a formidable reputation among the students and the locals, the six of them stuck together. After graduating from high school, they banded together and built a temporary headquarters somewhere near the school, bearing various names. It started with CARTOON, which they later ditched for Queen of Pirates. The named stuck for a while until Taguchi established himself as a professional racecar driver (also a semi-professional billiard player, quasi-professional DotA gamer and other side jobs nobody bothered to keep track of), Koki as an indie rapper named Joker for a band called PIERROT, Nakamaru as the university student and the all-around OCD father figure for everyone, Ueda Tatsuya the boxer and part-time guitarist in Koki’s band, Jin left for America and Kame as the next Big Thing in the baseball world that they have decided to rename themselves The Ultimate Wheels.
People still know them as KAT-TUN. They prefer calling themselves The Wheels. “It sounds cooler,” Koki had said.
--
NEWS was formed shortly after the school festival had ended. This time, it was the school’s decision to form the unit. The school’s female volleyball team had been the finalist for the national championship, and the school formed a cheer squad led by nine boys to support the girls. They performed for the crowd, singing and dancing to their signature songs, NEWS Nippon and Kibou ~Yell~, both which were later recorded and sold to the fangirls because they were gaining more attention than the school had anticipated for.
Their team lost in the finals, but NEWS gained national attention for their all-around wholesomeness and Japan loves their boys wholesome. Members of KAT-TUN were not amused.
Koki specifically whined about how NEWS was a whimsical decision that worked whimsically only because the school had needed something whimsical. NEWS was nothing like KAT-TUN, which was actually useful to the school.
By that time, the rest of the school only knew of KAT-TUN as a bunch of delinquents grouped together to fight another group of delinquents, contributions notwithstanding.
Like KAT-TUN, NEWS stuck, though not without some changes in their lineups. Moriuchi left NEWS because he thought that being in NEWS would hurt his credentials if he wanted to be a serious rock musician. Kusano Hironori and Uchi Hiroki were expelled later for underage drinking, causing a mini riot among the fangirls in the school. The teachers had to stop all academic-related activities due to the school-wide depression that took place.
(Some even formed a support group.)
Other six members of NEWS graduated without a hitch, but they made use of their former glory to establish a group dedicated to the betterment of the society. Needless to say, their methods clashed spectacularly with KAT-TUN’s.
Even in their methods of dealing with the alleged affair between their leaders.
--
It’s bound to happen really. Being rivals demands that they spend a lot of time keeping up to date on their opponent's whereabouts.
It started on that night they were punished for almost starting a fight in Madame Christine’s newly opened bar. Kame was so embarrassed, he retreated backstage to hopefully dig a hole to bury himself in. He had found Yamapi there too, and to his surprise, he wasn’t revolted at the sight of Yamapi’s tall figure slanting against the curtains, his manboobs threatening to burst from his overly tight shirts.
They both walked nearer to each other, as though drawn by some mysterious magnetic force, and laughed heartily. When they finally stopped laughing, they reenacted the whole performance by repeating the chorus dance moves and singing off-key. Kame thought that Yamapi could be rather dorky.
(And his manboobs were kind of attractive.)
The phone rang some time later. It was Nakamaru, worried if Kame was fighting with Yamapi. Kame told him that he was just taking a break, and would rejoin the rest of The Wheels in just a moment.
“I need to leave,” Kame had said to Yamapi.
Neither of them saw it coming. Before they knew it, they were clashing their lips together, hands pulling each other closer and then, simultaneously falling to the floor. Yamapi was on top of Kame, his leg in between Kame’s, knees rubbing against Kame’s crotch. Kame tugged Yamapi’s belt, one hand slipping in his pants and another pulling his collar. They were kissing violently and clumsily until the phone rang again.
This time, it was Yamapi’s. Kame pushed Yamapi away, realizing with a jolt who he had been making out with, then dashed out to meet his gang.
It’s now happening again.
He doesn’t want it to happen, but he decides that he could maybe use it to his benefit. He figures that if he could get some dirt on Yamapi, NEWS will leave The Wheels alone and they could operate without having to bump into Koyama or Shige’s objections or worse, Tegoshi’s high-pitched whine, which seems to annoy Koki by its barely audible echoes alone.
He invites Yamapi into his apartment, claiming that they need to talk. Yamapi agrees.
Kame closes the door behind him. Then, it happens. They are standing there, just standing next to Kame’s apartment door and the next thing that happens is Yamapi’s body pushing him against the door. Kame pulls Yamapi’s closer by his shirt, and Yamapi obliges by bringing his forehead close to Kame’s. His face is so close, Kame can feel his minty breath. The game is on, he thinks.
There’s a lingering touch, a hold that isn’t aimed to hurt, but to entrap. Yamapi’s obviously up to something and Kame isn't about to let him get away with it. So, he places his hand on the other man's behind and squeezes. Yamapi's eyes widened in surprise and Kame feels like he has just won that particular battle. He flexes his hand - maybe if he sneaks in one more squeeze, he would feel double the accomplishment?
Then Yamapi ups the game and he doesn't just squeeze, he pinches and pats and bites. Well, Kame is never one to back down from a challenge.
Trailing is a delicate exercise and when one of them is discovered, confrontation would naturally lead to fighting. So they squeeze and pinch and pat and bite and stroke.
After all, didn't they say: Keep your friends close and your enemies closer?
--
Nishikido Ryo has always been impulsively acidic in his speech. He spares no one and expects no one to spare him.
Nevertheless, there are things that Yamapi never expect to hear from Ryo. “I think you’re screwing with Kamenashi.”
Yamapi almost spits out his morning milk. “What are you saying?”
Then again, Yamapi never expected that to come from anyone. Hasn’t he been cautious enough?
“Aren’t you? I keep seeing you in the Wheels headquarters, and I assume that you’re offering Kamenashi some kind of peace treaty? Since he saw you in your most embarrassing moment?”
Oh, that. Yamapi has panicked for no reason.
“He’s actually a nice person.”
The rest of NEWS spit out their milk.
--
Koki has always strangely mesmerized Tegoshi; and it started way before Koki’s head resembled a microphone.
Then again, Tegoshi has always been oddly attracted to people whose personality is rough on all edges. He used to feel intimidated by Ryo, until he called Ryo ‘Ryo-tan’ one day and had Ryo called him ‘Tego-nyan’ back, courtesy of his rather effective cat impersonations. He believes that he can, someday, make Koki call him ‘Tego-nyan’ too. Preferably now – he has something important to talk to Koki about.
There are a lot of hurdles to overcome, however.
Everytime Tegoshi goes to the Wheels headquarters, something always happens.
Once, he overheard Koki yelling at Taguchi.
“Stand still! I can’t do it if you keep moving!”
“I am standing still, be careful, Ko-ahhhhh!”
“Shut up Taguchi, I’m trying to be gentle here.”
Tegoshi ran away immediately, trying hard to erase the conversation from his head.
Another time, he accidentally spied on Koki speaking to Ueda.
“Uepomu, the wall is innocent.”
Ueda wasn’t saying anything.
“Uepomu, take a deep breath.”
Tegoshi heard someone (Ueda?) inhale and then there was a deafening sound of broken bricks. He dashed back to the NEWS clubhouse, pretending to have been jogging.
This time he will face his fears of Koki, Tegoshi thinks determinedly. He has texted Koki (he got his number from Massu, who got Koki’s number from Nakamaru) about an hour ago, informing him that he’s coming to the headquarters. He wouldn’t have resorted to seeking Koki’s help if not for his greater fear for Ueda and Taguchi, and he dearly hopes that his adorableness could somehow work its magic.
Koki answers the door casually. “I got your text, is there anything wrong?”
Tegoshi takes a glance at the room behind Koki. “Koki-kun, is that a sewing machine?”
Koki looks back at the room and scratches his head. “Oh yes, that is. Kame tore his vintage jeans yesterday and he doesn’t trust anyone else to fix it for him, especially not his mom.”
Tegoshi is beginning to understand what had happened behind those conversations he overheard.
“Were you sewing Taguchi-kun’s clothes the other day?”
Koki’s eyes widen. “How do you know?”
“I heard you guys. To be honest, it-“
“Did it scare you?” Koki asks, laughing.
Tegoshi nods, laughing along.
“So,” Koki asks, “what do you want to ask me about?”
Tegoshi takes a deep breath. “Koki-kun, has Kamenashi-kun been a little weird lately?”
Koki thinks. “Not that I know of.”
“Specifically, when it comes to our Leader?”
“Ah!” Koki seems to have remembered something. “I think I saw your leader leaving the headquarters just a few days ago-“
“Was it for a discussion? Yamashita-kun has been talking about how he is getting help from Kame-“
“His zipper was wide open.”
Tegoshi falls silent.
“Oh.”
“Yea,” Koki answers knowingly.
--
Akanishi Jin is a strange case.
He’s best friends with Yamapi, but he’s also best friends with Kame and is one of the most popular Wheels member.
(He and Kame share some pretty complicated history. A history that will take ten years worth of investigation, discussion, and debate to be able to reach a conclusion for.)
With Yamapi and Kame not on speaking terms, he was often subjected to very obscure conversations that include both Yamapi and Kame refusing to refer to each other with their actual names. Yamapi would call Kame ‘the skinny meatless skeleton’ and Kame would call Yamapi ‘the walking pair of manboobs’.
A few months before Jin moved to America as a transfer student, Yamapi and Kame started addressing each other using actual names.
He left Japan, feeling relieved that he wouldn’t have to stay up all night anticipating or imagining actual skeletons fighting with boobs if Kame and Yamapi at least know how not to yell rude names at each other.
Finding them on a bed, his bed, Yamapi on top of Kame, isn’t exactly what he has on his mind when he returns to Japan for a semester break.
--
Ueda Tatsuya has a gift of seeing things nobody is really supposed to be seeing.
It’s late, and Ueda is going back to the headquarters because he has left his old boxing gloves on his desk. He bumps into Ryo on his way there. He winces. They have never been fond of each other’s faces.
“Hey Shorty.”
“Hey Pale Lips.”
Ueda rolls his eyes. “What are you doing here anyway?”
“I’m not here alone,” Ryo says, and Tegoshi jumps out from the corner of the headquarters.
“At the back, Ryo-tan!”
Ueda is not amused. “Are you two spying on us?”
“Not you,” Ryo answers. “Your leader. And ours.”
Ueda follows them to the back of the headquarters.
The store room is lit up, and the three of them barricade themselves with the help of a tree nearby.
They can see Kame and Yamapi, though fuzzily, through the dusty glass panes.
The silhouettes of Kame and Yamapi don’t seem to be doing anything, and Ueda doesn’t understand the need to spy on them. They are perfectly them – Kame’s slightly shorter body facing Yamapi’s, glaring daggers towards him and Yamapi returning the glare by –
KISSING HIM.
Unless Ueda has gone temporarily mad, he has just seen Kame and Yamapi –his stomach gives a very twisting churn at the thought of it- making out and probably leaning towards having some sort of wallsex later. Not the sweet and slow making out between two people in love, but the needy, hungry and consuming kind. Ueda can tell because the silhouette of Kame is apparently wrestling with Yamapi’s, and now he’s pinning Yamapi to the wall, mercilessly ripping his shirt open, Yamapi slipping his hand inside Kame’s pants, bring him closer and grinding against him.
"W-what are they doing?" Ueda asks, his face going green.
"Your ugly-ass leader is getting all over ours," Ryo answers and Ueda turns to give him a glare.
"Say that again, Nishikido? I think that little whimper just came from Yamashita. Too bad your leader can't handle ours."
"Too bad your leader can't keep his hands to himself-"
"-uh, Ryo?" Tegoshi interrupts, looking on in fascination at the fight bursting into action in front of both gangs. "I think that's Yamapi's hand on Kamenashi-kun’s butt..."
Ueda and Ryo stop bickering just as they hear something pounding from the room they are spying.
They all silently agree on holding separate discussions to decide what to think about what they have just seen their leaders doing.
--
Shige finds himself the focus of the room when he enters the NEWS clubhouse.
“Where’s Yamapi?” he asks, noticing the obvious absence.
“Probably in the Wheels headquarters,” Ryo snorts and Tegoshi shrieks, “Ryo-tan!”
“Guys,” Koyama raises his hand, calling for attention. “We have a problem.”
Shige thinks he knows what the secret meeting is all about.
“Kamenashi, right?”
“Yes, he has been-“ Ryo looks at Massu.
Massu swallows the mouthful of tart he’s having. “-having an affair with our leader.”
Shige hears his fellow NEWS members shift in discomfort in their seats.
“So what do we do now?”
Ryo answers. “Stop the rumours about Yamapi being gay. The problem is how.”
The others twitch. “Ryo-tan, you’re not helping,” Tegoshi says.
“No, Tegoshi,” Ryo snaps.
“I don’t care if it’s any other rumour but this one. It pains me to say this, but, even, even-” Ryo couldn’t finish his sentence.
The clubhouse phone rings and Shige picks it at the fourth ring.
“Shige?” Yokoyama’s animated voice greets.
“I hear from Ryo-chan that you have dirt on Yamapi and that Kamenashi, tell us more!”
Shige looks at Ryo hesitantly.
“The Kansai fans were sending the Kanjani boys letters asking about Kamenashi and Yamapi,” Ryo explains, exasperated.
--
“They were on my bed!”
“Akanishi,” Koki is trying to calm Jin down. “We swear we didn’t know this is happening-“
“My bed, Koki, MY BED.”
“Ok, that was worse than me seeing them doing it in the storeroom,” Ueda adds.
“Ueda, my bed.”
Koki holds both of Jin’s hands. “I know, we are equally traumatised.”
“Koki, it was my bed.”
“Guys, should we buy them tickets to Venice?” Taguchi suggests.
Nobody answers him.
“What were they doing on your bed anyway?” Ueda asks.
“I don’t know, ok? I just got home and they have my keys for emergency purposes and I opened the door and really,” Jin replies, “do you want to know?”
They let out a collective “eww”.
Koki starts. “Yeah, I wouldn’t want to know if their pants are still on them-“
Jin continues after him. “-and if they are off them, I’m not eager to know how they look like without the pants-“
Ueda also adds. “-or in which position they were doing it-“
“Doggy style?” Koki asks.
“I prefer the good old missionary style,” Jin disagrees.
“Who was on top?” Taguchi, asking the correct question this time around.
“Were there foreplays?” Ueda’s curiosity grows.
“Guys,” Nakamaru interrupts, “I don’t think they are having an affair.”
The other four turn to him. “What?”
“Yucchi, didn’t you see Yamapi leaving Kame’s apartment that day?” Koki asks.
“But Yamapi was bruised all over! How could they be in love and injured at the same time?”
They go quiet, and look at each other dubiously, wondering if they should bother enlightening Nakamaru.
“H-how do you know Kame was injured?” Koki asks.
“I went shopping with him.”
“That doesn’t explain anything,” Ueda presses, continuing the interrogation session.
“He was having troubles choosing between two leather jackets.”
Taguchi’s next. “Fine, where were the bruises?”
“I saw some on the neck-“
They gasp.
Jin’s disgusted. “Please don’t say that there were more.”
“On the arms, yea-“
They gasp louder.
“I think there were some on the back too.”
Ueda knows that it’s time for him to do his duties as the ex-leader. He exchanges determined looks with the other three.
“Nakamaru, don’t you think someone should help to treat Kame’s injuries?”
--
Yamapi knows there’s something wrong when his group members plan a night’s out in a flashy club for him.
(It won’t be weird if it’s coming from Ryo, but Ryo is hardly thoughtful enough to plan anything for anyone.)
Especially when it comes from Koyama and Shige.
“Why?”
Koyama nudges Shige, who answers, “We think you need to relax,” and nudges Koyama back.
“I have spoken to Madame Christine, she said she would like to introduce you to some of the newer ViVi models,” Koyama adds.
Yamapi furrows his eyebrows. “What is this about?”
Before anyone of them can answer, Tegoshi interrupts them, fresh out of the changing room.
“Hey guys, do I look good?”
He’s dressed in a plain white lacey dress with a blonde wig and heavy makeup. He’s gleaming and twirling, obviously enjoying the way feminine clothes look on him, until he stops turning and sees Yamapi.
“You aren’t supposed to see this yet!” Tegoshi runs back into the changing room.
Yamapi couldn’t help but laugh. “You guys need to tell me now,” he points towards Koyama and Shige.
Both of them look at each other and shrug.
Koyama starts, “we feel that some female companionship could do some good to you, and Tegoshi, he-“
“-feels that we should also try to experiment other forms of female companionship.”
Yamapi feels lucky not to be drinking anything right that moment. He could have choked on it.
--
Nakamaru comes over rather late for his standard.
“It’s 9pm,” Kame reminds him.
“I forgot to tell you that Akanishi’s home.”
“I saw him,” Kame tells Nakamaru, filtering out the entire story on how he has come to know that Jin’s back for the semester break.
“Oh,” Nakamaru says, obviously trying to find another excuse.
“Just say it.”
“Theyaskedmetocheckonyou,” Nakamaru says in one breath.
Kame blinks. “Okay,” he answers. “I’m alive, I guess?”
“No,” Nakamaru shifts uneasily, “I told them you are injured and they asked me to check on you.”
“Right. And they are not here themselves?”
“Kame..”
“Come on, Nakamaru, is Jin mad at me?”
“No one is mad at you.”
“He told you things.”
“Yes, he told me – no, that’s not it!”
“Just say it.”
“I bought some of your favourite band-aids. Just let me check on you?”
“Snoopy?”
“Patrick. The new pattern.”
Kame loves band-aids with cute, puppy dog prints. Nakamaru discovered the fact when Kame saw the Snoopy band-aids his sister kept in his bag for him, and requested that Nakamaru kept some for him. It’s how Nakamaru gets away with things like ‘fraternising with the enemy’ (the very words Jin used, yes; he learned them from the Harry Potter books) and ‘not reflecting the gang image’ (according to Koki).
“Your neck,” Nakamaru orders.
“Fine.”
Kame takes off his shirt while Nakamaru peels off the band-aids. Nakamaru then pats his bruises gently and slowly sticks the bandages. Nakamaru has always been gentle with him, something Kame really appreciates.
Then, Nakamaru becomes even gentler. He begins to massage Kame’s back, starting from the small of his back all the way to his shoulders. Nakamaru’s rather skillful hands press and drag equally on his left and right, unwinding his tensed nerves. He feels as though a calming current of energy is flowing from Nakamaru’s hands into his entire body. Kame closes his eyes, basking in being pampered so thoroughly.
“A bit to the right,” Kame says softly.
Nakamaru shifts the pressure from his hands. “Here?”
Kame moans in pleasure. Nakamaru’s hands feel like they are fixing everything that’s haywire inside him, some sort of correctional chakra that connects every nerve together. Most of all, Kame feels like his body has been given a breath of fresh air.
It relaxes Kame. He starts breathing slower and his muscles are loosening up. Sometimes Kame wonders if Nakamaru’s as skillful with other parts of his body, but Nakamaru looks like he wouldn’t be able to understand what Kame’s real question is anyway.
“It feels good,” Kame whispers.
“Really?” Nakamaru leans forward, his chest leaning against Kame’s back.
“Yea,” Kame answers, gently squeezing Nakamaru’s hand.
Nakamaru leans away and moves to his neck, gently massaging and stroking him. “How does it feel?”
“Really good,” Kame sighs happily.
Nakamaru misses a spot and accidentally presses one of his many bruises. “OUCH!”
“Sorry, I’ll be gentler.”
“No, it’s ok, I can endure it. Please do it harder.”
“Alright.”
Nakamaru continues until Kame’s satisfied, leaving Kame sleeping soundlessly.
--
He shows up at the Wheels headquarters the next day with a recording.
“Here,” Nakamaru says as he hands over the USB drive.
“Great,” Ueda says, patting Nakamaru’s arm.
“It’s my turn now?” Taguchi flaps his laptop open.
“We are counting on you,” Koki says.
“Trust me. It will be the hottest thing anyone has ever heard.”
Nakamaru blanks. “I thought it’s for emotional analysis?”
Ueda and Taguchi grin at each other. “Yes, for Yamapi.”
Nakamaru regretfully realises that he has been tricked.
“So much for ‘persuading Kame that he needs a vacation’, guys,” he whines, “what if Kame gets mad at me?”
Taguchi chooses that moment to play the recording and broadcast Kame’s whimpers of pleasure from his laptop.
“You can always offer him another massage,” he suggests.
Nakamaru winces at the request. Not that he doesn’t like massaging Kame, but it’s getting harder now that Kame’s gaining weight in preparation for a huge baseball game. There’s also the fact that his muscles are getting harder.
As he watches his gang members bustling around with the recording, he’s hit with a sudden realisation.
“Is this about Yamapi?”
“Oh, now you know,” Ueda answers with a deadpan voice. “Took you long enough.”
“Why?”
Ueda and Taguchi both stare at him.
“I don’t care who Kame’s fucking, but if this means truce with NEWS, I am not doing it. Not especially when I need to look at Nishikido’s face,” Ueda answers.
“I’m alright with whoever Kazuya’s been messing with, but I like it better when everyone’s fighting,” Taguchi replies with a smirk.
Nakamaru’s not sure if he wants to convince them that they might be wrong.
--
“Dude, I’m sorry, we didn’t know you were coming home,” Yamapi says to Jin.
They’re in the club, an outing Koyama and Shige have planned for Yamapi and he asks Jin to come along. He knows that nothing pleases Jin more than a few shots of alcohol and pretty girls.
“Please tell me I don’t have to wash my sheets,” Jin shouts over the pounding bass; Like A G6 is blasting.
Yamapi doesn’t answer right away.
“I take it as a confirmation that I do need to wash my sheets,” Jin helps.
Yamapi shrugs. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s ok, whatever. You guys are making up and also making out. I’m glad,” Jin says.
“Honestly?”
“Yes.”
“What did the others say – did you tell them?”
“They …,” Jin hesitates, “not really.”
Yamapi raises his eyebrows. “What?”
Jin pulls him to the restroom. It’s quieter there.
“Look, you’re my friend, ok? Mabudachi?”
“Yea?”
“I really don’t want to hurt you.”
“What?”
Jin slips something tiny into Yamapi’s pocket.
“That’s Kame. And Nakamaru. I called them a few weeks ago, and had forgotten to hang up. It dried up my phone credits but that was what I heard on the phone.”
Yamapi feels like he doesn’t want to know what Jin means by that.
“I don’t understand. Do I really need to know this?”
“Let’s just say that me walking in on you guys making out the other day wasn’t the first time I was exposed to Kame making out with anyone.”
--
“YOU GAVE OUR LEADER AN AUDIO RECORDING OF KAME AND NAKAMARU HAVING SEX?”
Koki presses a finger on Tegoshi’s lips. “Not so loud! Nakamaru’s still around!”
Tegoshi mouths a little apology.
“It’s not exactly a sex recording, just a highly edited recording of a pleasurable act,” Koki says, enjoying seeing Tegoshi wince with every euphemism. “Akanishi didn’t tell Yamapi what it is, just that he has seen Kame make out with other people too, not just Yamapi.”
Koki sees Tegoshi’s look of apprehension. “Fine, I might as well say it. Akanishi walked in on me and Kame accidentally making out.”
Tegoshi giggles.
“He was drunk, and that was when he had just graduated,” Koki adds.
“Koki-kun, I never knew you –“
“I’m not gay, ok?” Koki insists. “But he’s a great kisser, Yamapi’s really lucky to have tapped that.”
Tegoshi, however, has come to ask for Koki’s help. He has even accidentally torn the white lacey dress while speedily undressing from the cross-dressing fiasco.
“But Yamashita-kun,” Tegoshi says worriedly, “he will be heartbroken.”
Koki dismisses his worries. “They are just having plenty of sex. There are no real feelings there.”
“What if they really do fancy each other?”
Koki thinks.
“If they do, this might be the time to test it.”
Tegoshi looks at him curiously.
“You see,” Koki swallows, “him.. being.. with.. your leader..”
“-might take us some time to adjust to. Right,” Tegoshi agrees.
“Yeah.”
--
The rumour spread like wildfire, overpowering the previous rumour.
It seems to have an effect that is rather undesirable to both The Wheels and NEWS, and for some time, both groups realise that it would have been better to keep the rumour about Kame and Yamapi’s secret tryst than to have them involved in a love square involving Nakamaru and Jin.
“Since when am I even involved in this?” Jin shouts in the headquarters.
“Apparently someone saw you being up close and personal with Pi in the club the other day,” Taguchi says, checking his newsfeed on the internet. Jin has always been wondering about how Taguchi knows everything about everyone.
“So now I’m apparently involved with Yamapi, who is apparently involved with Kame, who’s apparently involved with Nakamaru,” Jin concludes. “Fucking gross.”
Nobody disagrees.
“Why can’t it involve a girl at least? Then I can go back to LA knowing that I have had a fulfilling summer,” Jin whines.
Koki pats his shoulder.
--
“Yamashita-kun, what would you like for dinner tonight?”
“Anything will do, Tegoshi.”
“Yamapi, here’s today’s newspaper, would you like to read it?”
“Just put it under the door, thanks Koyama.”
“I bought some delicious eggtarts, wanna try?”
“It’s ok, Massu. Please put it in the fridge, I’ll eat them later.”
“I have the new Britney CD!”
“I can download it myself, Shige.”
“It’s summer. Come out, Jin said that some of his classmates from LA are coming for a visit. They will be staying in an onsen, time to offer them the Japanese hospitality.”
“I don’t feel like talking to anyone from the Wheels, Ryo.”
Yamapi has been locking himself in his bedroom for a few days after the night’s out, and everybody’s worried. They have been trying to lure him out, hoping that they will be able to talk sense into him.
“I think he’s too heartbroken,” Tegoshi theorises.
“I think he just needs a girl,” Ryo offers.
“I think he’s too gay to function,” Shige says.
Everybody look at him, stunned.
“Did you just quote Mean Girls?” Koyama asks.
Shige flails, realising that he has probably been lost in translation.
“Sorry, I think I used it wrongly, I will consult Akanishi tomorrow!”
--
“Kame-chan, it’s late. You have been practicing pitching for ten straight hours,” Koki says.
“Kame, you should eat,” Nakamaru hands him a bento box.
“Kazuya, your pitching’s great!”
Three pairs of eyes glare daggers at Taguchi in a you-just-negated-everything-we-said-you-idiot way, which Taguchi replies with a perhaps-reverse-psychology-might-work grin. Kame is out on the training field, endlessly pitching to the wall with an intense determination that seems to imply that he has a murderous intention to damage the wall
Koki whispers to Ueda, “Where’s Akanishi?”
Ueda shrugs. “No idea. Mourning over his lack of manliness, I’m guessing.”
“Kame, you know that what they are saying is not true, right?” Nakamaru says, nervously.
There’s a loud thud of the ball hitting the wall. Again.
“That’s not what I’m concerned about,” Kame answers flatly.
“Come on, Kame-chan, talk to us,” Koki finally gives in and begs. “We can go through this.”
Kame stares at the wall for what seems to be an hour (it’s probably just one minute) then speaks. “You know, I think I need to go to the NEWS clubhouse.”
He drops his bat and his gloves, then puts on his leather jacket and strolls past all of them bossily, a sign Ueda, Taguchi, Nakamaru, and Koki take that Kame’s destruction mode is approaching and will be doing some damage on the NEWS clubhouse.
“Are you guys coming?”
A united chorus of “HELL, YEAH” follows.
“Great, call Akanishi too.”
--
Tegoshi knocks on the door.
“Yamashita-kun, you need to come out.”
“I’m tired.”
“No, seriously, you need to!”
“Tell me about it later.”
Ryo steps forward and pushes Tegoshi aside. “Move over, let me do it.”
“Kamenashi dragged his fugly ass here. Get down, we need to settle things as fast as possible,” Ryo says.
Yamapi finally opens the door.
“Where’s he?”
--
Kame stares at the group of people in front of him. Yamapi’s in the middle, looking scruffy and unkempt.
“You look like shit,” he says.
“And you look gay,” Yamapi hisses.
“Not as gay as you,” Kame pushes Yamapi’s shoulder. “Seriously, Jin? Our Jin? You have got some guts stepping into our territory.”
“Jin is not your,” Yamapi grabs Kame’s collar, “territory. Seriously, is this the way you treat your people? No wonder you people are so fucked up. And seriously, Nakamaru? Of all the fucked up boys in your gang you can mess with?”
“Not as fucked up as you, Yamashita-kun,” Kame growls. “Good boys don’t fight, remember?”
“Well, then, badass leaders who fight to draw blood don’t take advantage of their nicest members,” Yamapi retorts.
Kame sees the rest of NEWS backing away. “Come on, hit me, Yamashita-kun,” he challenges.
It might just be his imagination, but he thinks he sees some sort of hesitation in Yamapi’s eyes. It’s hard to tell - Kame could never tell things from Yamapi’s eyes. He used to think it was only problematic when he was trying to determine whether Yamapi wanted to top or be topped, but right now he’s also having problems trying to determine whether Yamapi wants to hit or be hit.
“I can’t,” Yamapi says after swallowing his saliva, and he runs a finger down Kame’s chest.
“No, hit me,” Kame insists, growing nervous by the minute.
Yamapi looks at Kame with a forlorn look, a look Kame usually sees on him when he slips his hand inside Kame’s shirt while Kame tugs him close.
“Don’t give me that look,” Kame instructs.
“I am not doing this,” Yamapi sighs, taking a step back.
“After all that antagonising, you’re not going to hit me?”
Kame clenches his fist. “Fine, I will.” He delivers a punch to Yamapi’s face, hurting his nose.
Yamapi staggers, then wipes his nose, staining his fist with his own blood.
“Oh no you didn’t,” he roars at Kame. He pushes Kame to the grounds and jumps on top of him and does the unpredictable.
He pins Kame’s hands above him, then lowers himself to give him an open-mouthed kiss. Kame struggles to break free, but Yamapi’s kissing him like he’s a starving person who has just found his oasis. Kame doesn’t know what to do to stop him, so he bites his lips and gathers all his inner strength to roll aside so that he can be above Yamapi. But Yamapi’s strength endures his bite; he pushes Kame’s head down with his hand tangling in his hair, and they don’t stop to breathe until Kame stops fighting Yamapi off.
Nobody else knows what to do.
“Get a room, you two,” Ryo’s eyes rolling in disgust.
“Which will not be mine,” Jin orders cautiously.
--
The unexpectedly public shenanigan miraculously settled everything. The fangirls are now more pleased than ever, and all the members of Ultimate Wheels (including Jin) and NEWS signed an unspoken agreement to never publicly talk about Kame and Yamapi, in hopes that the tension between could dissipate into their bedrooms instead of having it blaze it everywhere.
“Akanishi is so lucky,” Koki complains as he patches up Tegoshi’s pants. “He’s not here to endure all the lovey-dovey stuff between Kame-chan and that, that –“
“Yamashita-kun?” Tegoshi adds.
“Yea, him.”
“You can call him Yamapi, you know,” Shige interrupts. He’s doing a book review of the translated version of Twilight with Nakamaru and Koyama. Koki can hear them debating on whether Stephanie Meyer has intended the readers to want to be Bella or to want Edward.
“I GOT YOU!” Taguchi yells triumphantly.
“Oh man,” Masuda whines, “you’re too good.”
Taguchi grins and reruns his game, gleefully detailing his gameplans to a very enthusiastic Masuda.
On the other end of the NEWS clubhouse that they are hanging out in, Ryo and Ueda are arguing on who has be the better grasp on playing the guitar.
Nobody seems to care about both Kame and Yamapi until Jin calls.
“I’m sleepy,” Jin yawns on the Skype webcam. “Let’s get this over and done with.”
They play janken, and this time, Koki loses. “You go,” Taguchi nudges him. “Whoever loses has to call Kame and Yamapi, right?”
Koki slumps in frustration. “You guys better hope they are not-“
He’s stopped by the sound of bodies falling to the floor.
They pause for a while, until Jin calls for their attention. “Hello, guys?”
“Would you mind calling tomorrow?” Koki asks.
Jin scowls. “Tell Kame I said ‘FUCK YOU’.”
“Don’t worry, Yamapi’s doing that on your behalf,” Koki answers.
“Shit.”
--
Note: Everything I know about KAT-TUN, I know them. 90% of what I know about NEWS, however, comes from this amazing pimp post. I apologize if I have portrayed them inaccurately in this one. OTL