defeminized (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
defeminized) wrote2012-05-05 03:22 am
defeminized) wrote2012-05-05 03:22 am
Entry tags:
Make a throw - Ryo/Kame
Title: Make a Throw
Wordcount: 2329
Pairing: Ryo/Kame
Rating: R
Warnings: Sexual situations, vagueness, language
Summary: Ryo has decided what to do when the die stops.
Notes: Written forholly_berri for mini_ryo, originally posted here, beta-ed by pinkeuphoria1.
*
Ryo has this ritual where he throws out a die right before he starts composing the first note for his songs. After throwing it, he usually closes his eyes and concentrates all his senses solely on his ears and when the die stops rolling, he will have the first note ready.
It soon becomes a habit. Even if he doesn’t have any die with him, he will pretend that he’s holding one and makes a die-throwing gesture, then visualises the result in his head. He does this when he’s stuck somewhere between a few crucial choices, stressed out by overlapping schedules or just in need of some time for himself to clear out his head.
It’s his zen moment, when the one and only person who matters is himself.
*
He sometimes goes to this balcony outside the room that used to be the pantry and smokes. Nobody really goes there anymore because the new pantry is two floors below the old one and the old pantry is next to the top management’s meeting room, which is not a popular place for all the right reasons.
There’s usually only Kame outside on the balcony; sometimes smoking, sometimes napping, sometimes reading, sometimes just staring into space, but mostly smoking.
As far as Ryo can remember, Kame has always been there when he first discovered the balcony outside the old pantry. He doesn’t mind him, and from the way Kame only gives him a nod of acknowledgement before going back to whatever he’s doing at any given moment, he doesn’t mind Ryo there either.
The balcony’s his zen place, when he can have his own zen moments.
*
One day when he goes to the balcony, Kame asks him a question.
“Do you mind me here?”
Ryo takes a puff of the cigarette he’s smoking and says, “not at all”. He thinks that it’s a little strange for Kame to be asking that, seeing that they have been around each other on the same balcony for what seems to be forever.
“Great,” Kame says.
*
There’s an abstract image—maybe just an idea, it doesn’t feel solid—that takes the shape of a blurry, dark-coloured cloud as he strums the notes to this melody he’s writing for Kanjani∞’s latest album.
He rises up from the bedside, goes to his desk and takes a few dice that he has collected over the years, then settles back on the spot he just rose up from.
He closes his eyes and throws the dice slowly, one after another, and listens to them as they roll on the floor.
He sees himself flying in the air, travelling above the blurry, dark-coloured cloud that he saw earlier. The outline of the cloud becomes clearer, and he suddenly feels a strong gust of wind from the opposite direction, like it’s trying to make him fall.
He falls eventually; rapidly and suddenly.
When he sees himself falling flat on a soft, grassy field, the dice stop rolling.
He takes out his notebook and pens the words to Scarecrow.
*
It’s a few weeks later that Kame talks to him again on the balcony outside the old pantry.
(It’s not like they never talk elsewhere—the opposite, actually—but there’s this silent agreement to pretend the other doesn’t really exist when it’s only the two of them on the balcony.)
“What do you see when you look at me?”
What kind of question is that, Ryo thinks. He looks at Kame blankly.
“Just.. answer it?”
Ryo blinks a little, wondering what he should say in reply.
“That’s kind of sudden.”
“It doesn’t have to be deep, you know,” Kame chuckles. “It’s not like I’m your girlfriend or something.”
“Which made it a thousand times tougher to answer,” Ryo says.
Kame shifts a little on his spot on the balcony and pushes the glasses up on his nose.
“Why?” he asks. “I’m assuming that it’s because you don’t really think of me.”
“It’s not like I have to,” Ryo says.
“Right,” Kame agrees and they both return to their routine silence.
*
Some time ago, about a few years before he made his debut as a member of NEWS, Ryo made a harmless gamble that he didn’t remember until now.
He told himself that he would tell someone he used to call ugly that he was no longer ugly if it turned that he wasn't the shortest in his group. He had been in two groups and he wasn’t the shortest in any.
He doesn’t remember why he had forgotten this little bet, considering how long he spent being embarrassed by his height (or lack thereof) when he was a kid, but he thinks that it's a good thing that he remembers it now.
*
The next time Ryo enters the balcony, Kame’s not there.
*
He finds himself thinking a lot about Kame after the day he asked that question, and Ryo feels like cursing him sometimes.
Kame sure has a way of making sure he leaves an impression on others.
*
“You know,” Ryo says when he sees Kame on the balcony again.
Kame looks up from the newspaper he’s reading.
“I think you’re not ugly anymore,” he tells Kame, and Kame breaks into a hearty laughter.
“That’s really cute of you,” he says.
Ryo winces slightly. Of all the things he could have said, he thinks.
*
Ryo loves playing with his dice, wondering what would happen if he tried to decide his life decisions based on the results.
He clasps a particularly tiny die inside his palm and tells himself that if he ever gets stuck between two decisions, the odd numbers would mean that he has to take the first option, and the even numbers, the second.
*
Kame asks him another question and this time, it’s a repeat of the first he ever asked him on the balcony.
“Do you mind me here?”
“Here as in the balcony, no.”
Kame stands nearer to Ryo and before he can react, Kame’s standing behind him, hands around his waist and chin resting comfortably on his shoulder.
“Here?”
Ryo takes a deep breath and wonders if there’s enough space for him to take out a cigarette from his pocket.
“Maybe,” he answers.
He mentally throws a die and sees it rolling without any sign of stopping.
*
The die that he threw in his mind, it rolls and rolls and rolls for a few days. It’s kind of haunting.
*
“You said that you think I’m not ugly anymore,” Kame says when he sneaks behind Ryo again a few days later, pushing him dangerously close to the balcony railing.
“You have a problem with that?” Ryo asks, breathing in the smoke from his cigarette.
He can feel Kame breathing very close to his ears.
“Not exactly,” Kame whispers.
Ryo turns to his right slightly so that he’s facing Kame.
“Then why are you bringing it up?”
He feels the arms tightening around his waist.
“Because I don’t think you’re short anymore either.”
Something inside Ryo reacts, and it triggers him to throw his cigarette to the floor, break free from Kame and pin him to the railing. Maybe it’s a good thing that Kame’s not very much taller than he is—probably just less than an inch—because they are pretty close to falling from the balcony.
“Damn right.”
Something’s tugging at his belt and he’s being pulled closer to Kame.
“I knew you’d say that,” Kame says, voice as dangerous as their position.
*
In his head, the die keeps rolling.
*
“We should, you know, meet somewhere else other than this balcony,” Kame says as he slips a hand inside his shirt and pulls him close so that he’s merely a breath away. Seeing him so closely, Ryo starts feeling a certain rhythmic thudding inside his chest, like just being close to Kame overwhelms him.
He closes his eyes and focuses on the rolling die in his head. It somehow reminds him of the trailer for Inception, and he can’t help but wonder if the die would stop rolling soon, and if it did, when.
The rolling die slows to twirl gracefully, and Ryo feels his lips being touched gently, as if someone’s kissing him to take his breath away.
*
Ryo has decided what to do when the die stops. If it’s an odd number, he will kiss Kame back. Even, he’ll push him away.
*
“What are you going to do next?” Kame asks. “Are you going to kiss me back, or do I need to fear for my life as you push me down from this balcony?”
Ryo opens his eyes and meets Kame’s challenging pair, taking a few seconds to wait for the die to stop.
The die shows three, so Ryo kisses Kame back.
*
Kame gives Ryo the direction to this hilltop park that he usually goes to when he feels like it. Kame apparently likes it because it’s only popular during spring and is rather deserted during other seasons, especially at night.
They lie on the cold grass and Kame rolls on top of Ryo.
“What are you doing?” Ryo asks.
“I don’t know,” Kame replies. “What do you have in mind?”
“I didn’t suggest this place. You tell me.”
“You followed me here, surely you want something.”
Kame lowers himself and his hands pin Ryo’s to the ground. “Otherwise we’re just going to lie here, living two separate worlds like we always do.”
Kame lowers himself again and Ryo feels his hair tickling his neck. He closes his eyes and lets the die roll.
“Tell me,” Kame whispers.
*
It’s two.
*
Ryo opens his eyes and catches both of Kame’s wrists. Kame seems surprised by the sudden gesture and can’t react in time to stop Ryo from turning him away and toppling him to the ground.
“I want to find something,” Ryo answers as he bends and their lips touch.
He presses into the kiss, steals the air around them and tightens his grips on Kame’s side, stilling his struggle.
“What is it that you’re looking for?” Kame asks, catching his own breath as he speaks.
Ryo’s hand releases one of Kame’s to trace his chest, and Kame wraps his now-free hand around Ryo’s neck to pull him closer.
“Tell me,” Kame’s voice comes out as a whispered plea.
Ryo hushes him.
“I’ll tell you when the time comes,” Ryo says. “For now, you stay here.”
*
The die that has stopped, it starts rolling again.
*
Ryo groans loudly as Kame enters him from behind and he turns backwards to bite Kame’s forearm and they fall to the bed.
“Fuck,” Ryo growls and his hand desperately searches for something to hold on. Ryo feels Kame’s body sticking closer to his back, and shortly after, there’s a hand covering his mouth and another holding his right hand.
“Don’t come so fast,” Kame pants as he thrusts in slowly. He adjusts his hand so that their palms are facing each other and he links their fingers together. Kame thrusts again and Ryo feels his nails clawing at the back of Kame’s palm.
Kame whimpers slightly with the pain and Ryo’s suddenly incredibly turned on. Fuck, he thinks. He lifts the lower part of his body, telling Kame that he wants more.
He turns slightly towards Kame and says it again with his eyes. Don’t stop.
Kame’s hand pulls away from Ryo’s mouth and Kame kisses him hard as he pushes in faster.
“I want it,” he huffs, “there.” He takes Kame’s hand to his hardened cock, demanding him to work there too.
Kame comes and he shakes with pleasure as he pulls out from Ryo, and Ryo climaxes shortly after.
Ryo collapses and sees the rolling die picking up speed.
*
Kame’s body glistens with sweat in the moonlit night, and Ryo finds himself in awe.
“What happened to you?” he asks. “I never knew you could be this beautiful.”
Kame smirks.
“That’s a really lame pickup line, you know?”
*
Kame kisses Ryo as he leaves, and the die in his mind slowly halts to a stop. He sweeps the image away, because he doesn’t need to know what number the die shows.
*
The next time Ryo goes to the balcony, Kame’s not there, possibly busy preparing for their upcoming tour.
He sits on the spot Kame usually sits on and rolls a die on the table.
He stares at the rolling die and sees the beautiful night sky as they kiss in the park and the twinkling stars around him as he comes.
The die stops and Ryo rises up from his seat.
*
Ryo takes Kame back to the hilltop park and makes him close his eyes.
“Sing me your latest song,” he asks. “Lie on the grass and sing me the song you’re going to sing in your tour.”
Kame smiles curiously. “Why?”
“Just do it,” Ryo says, “and close your eyes while you do it.”
Kame clears his throat and starts his song with a fading shooting star, trembles as he reaches the verse where he describes the intimacy he had and almost breaks his voice as he croons about the way he’s being swept away by the love he desires so much.
When Kame ends his chorus with a plea to his lover, asking him to stay close to him, Ryo climbs on top of him and kisses him gently.
Kame’s eyes widen in amazement.
“You asked me what I see when I look at you,” Ryo says and he kisses him again.
“Why—what—“
Ryo silences him with yet another kiss.
“Look above me,” he says. “That’s what I see when I look at you now.”
*
Ryo watches Kame’s solo performance from the lighting room, filling his mind with the night sky Kame has brought on stage for Zutto.
In his mind, the die starts rolling again.
*
Wordcount: 2329
Pairing: Ryo/Kame
Rating: R
Warnings: Sexual situations, vagueness, language
Summary: Ryo has decided what to do when the die stops.
Notes: Written for
holly_berri for mini_ryo, originally posted here, beta-ed by pinkeuphoria1. Ryo has this ritual where he throws out a die right before he starts composing the first note for his songs. After throwing it, he usually closes his eyes and concentrates all his senses solely on his ears and when the die stops rolling, he will have the first note ready.
It soon becomes a habit. Even if he doesn’t have any die with him, he will pretend that he’s holding one and makes a die-throwing gesture, then visualises the result in his head. He does this when he’s stuck somewhere between a few crucial choices, stressed out by overlapping schedules or just in need of some time for himself to clear out his head.
It’s his zen moment, when the one and only person who matters is himself.
He sometimes goes to this balcony outside the room that used to be the pantry and smokes. Nobody really goes there anymore because the new pantry is two floors below the old one and the old pantry is next to the top management’s meeting room, which is not a popular place for all the right reasons.
There’s usually only Kame outside on the balcony; sometimes smoking, sometimes napping, sometimes reading, sometimes just staring into space, but mostly smoking.
As far as Ryo can remember, Kame has always been there when he first discovered the balcony outside the old pantry. He doesn’t mind him, and from the way Kame only gives him a nod of acknowledgement before going back to whatever he’s doing at any given moment, he doesn’t mind Ryo there either.
The balcony’s his zen place, when he can have his own zen moments.
One day when he goes to the balcony, Kame asks him a question.
“Do you mind me here?”
Ryo takes a puff of the cigarette he’s smoking and says, “not at all”. He thinks that it’s a little strange for Kame to be asking that, seeing that they have been around each other on the same balcony for what seems to be forever.
“Great,” Kame says.
There’s an abstract image—maybe just an idea, it doesn’t feel solid—that takes the shape of a blurry, dark-coloured cloud as he strums the notes to this melody he’s writing for Kanjani∞’s latest album.
He rises up from the bedside, goes to his desk and takes a few dice that he has collected over the years, then settles back on the spot he just rose up from.
He closes his eyes and throws the dice slowly, one after another, and listens to them as they roll on the floor.
He sees himself flying in the air, travelling above the blurry, dark-coloured cloud that he saw earlier. The outline of the cloud becomes clearer, and he suddenly feels a strong gust of wind from the opposite direction, like it’s trying to make him fall.
He falls eventually; rapidly and suddenly.
When he sees himself falling flat on a soft, grassy field, the dice stop rolling.
He takes out his notebook and pens the words to Scarecrow.
It’s a few weeks later that Kame talks to him again on the balcony outside the old pantry.
(It’s not like they never talk elsewhere—the opposite, actually—but there’s this silent agreement to pretend the other doesn’t really exist when it’s only the two of them on the balcony.)
“What do you see when you look at me?”
What kind of question is that, Ryo thinks. He looks at Kame blankly.
“Just.. answer it?”
Ryo blinks a little, wondering what he should say in reply.
“That’s kind of sudden.”
“It doesn’t have to be deep, you know,” Kame chuckles. “It’s not like I’m your girlfriend or something.”
“Which made it a thousand times tougher to answer,” Ryo says.
Kame shifts a little on his spot on the balcony and pushes the glasses up on his nose.
“Why?” he asks. “I’m assuming that it’s because you don’t really think of me.”
“It’s not like I have to,” Ryo says.
“Right,” Kame agrees and they both return to their routine silence.
Some time ago, about a few years before he made his debut as a member of NEWS, Ryo made a harmless gamble that he didn’t remember until now.
He told himself that he would tell someone he used to call ugly that he was no longer ugly if it turned that he wasn't the shortest in his group. He had been in two groups and he wasn’t the shortest in any.
He doesn’t remember why he had forgotten this little bet, considering how long he spent being embarrassed by his height (or lack thereof) when he was a kid, but he thinks that it's a good thing that he remembers it now.
The next time Ryo enters the balcony, Kame’s not there.
He finds himself thinking a lot about Kame after the day he asked that question, and Ryo feels like cursing him sometimes.
Kame sure has a way of making sure he leaves an impression on others.
“You know,” Ryo says when he sees Kame on the balcony again.
Kame looks up from the newspaper he’s reading.
“I think you’re not ugly anymore,” he tells Kame, and Kame breaks into a hearty laughter.
“That’s really cute of you,” he says.
Ryo winces slightly. Of all the things he could have said, he thinks.
Ryo loves playing with his dice, wondering what would happen if he tried to decide his life decisions based on the results.
He clasps a particularly tiny die inside his palm and tells himself that if he ever gets stuck between two decisions, the odd numbers would mean that he has to take the first option, and the even numbers, the second.
Kame asks him another question and this time, it’s a repeat of the first he ever asked him on the balcony.
“Do you mind me here?”
“Here as in the balcony, no.”
Kame stands nearer to Ryo and before he can react, Kame’s standing behind him, hands around his waist and chin resting comfortably on his shoulder.
“Here?”
Ryo takes a deep breath and wonders if there’s enough space for him to take out a cigarette from his pocket.
“Maybe,” he answers.
He mentally throws a die and sees it rolling without any sign of stopping.
The die that he threw in his mind, it rolls and rolls and rolls for a few days. It’s kind of haunting.
“You said that you think I’m not ugly anymore,” Kame says when he sneaks behind Ryo again a few days later, pushing him dangerously close to the balcony railing.
“You have a problem with that?” Ryo asks, breathing in the smoke from his cigarette.
He can feel Kame breathing very close to his ears.
“Not exactly,” Kame whispers.
Ryo turns to his right slightly so that he’s facing Kame.
“Then why are you bringing it up?”
He feels the arms tightening around his waist.
“Because I don’t think you’re short anymore either.”
Something inside Ryo reacts, and it triggers him to throw his cigarette to the floor, break free from Kame and pin him to the railing. Maybe it’s a good thing that Kame’s not very much taller than he is—probably just less than an inch—because they are pretty close to falling from the balcony.
“Damn right.”
Something’s tugging at his belt and he’s being pulled closer to Kame.
“I knew you’d say that,” Kame says, voice as dangerous as their position.
In his head, the die keeps rolling.
“We should, you know, meet somewhere else other than this balcony,” Kame says as he slips a hand inside his shirt and pulls him close so that he’s merely a breath away. Seeing him so closely, Ryo starts feeling a certain rhythmic thudding inside his chest, like just being close to Kame overwhelms him.
He closes his eyes and focuses on the rolling die in his head. It somehow reminds him of the trailer for Inception, and he can’t help but wonder if the die would stop rolling soon, and if it did, when.
The rolling die slows to twirl gracefully, and Ryo feels his lips being touched gently, as if someone’s kissing him to take his breath away.
Ryo has decided what to do when the die stops. If it’s an odd number, he will kiss Kame back. Even, he’ll push him away.
“What are you going to do next?” Kame asks. “Are you going to kiss me back, or do I need to fear for my life as you push me down from this balcony?”
Ryo opens his eyes and meets Kame’s challenging pair, taking a few seconds to wait for the die to stop.
The die shows three, so Ryo kisses Kame back.
Kame gives Ryo the direction to this hilltop park that he usually goes to when he feels like it. Kame apparently likes it because it’s only popular during spring and is rather deserted during other seasons, especially at night.
They lie on the cold grass and Kame rolls on top of Ryo.
“What are you doing?” Ryo asks.
“I don’t know,” Kame replies. “What do you have in mind?”
“I didn’t suggest this place. You tell me.”
“You followed me here, surely you want something.”
Kame lowers himself and his hands pin Ryo’s to the ground. “Otherwise we’re just going to lie here, living two separate worlds like we always do.”
Kame lowers himself again and Ryo feels his hair tickling his neck. He closes his eyes and lets the die roll.
“Tell me,” Kame whispers.
It’s two.
Ryo opens his eyes and catches both of Kame’s wrists. Kame seems surprised by the sudden gesture and can’t react in time to stop Ryo from turning him away and toppling him to the ground.
“I want to find something,” Ryo answers as he bends and their lips touch.
He presses into the kiss, steals the air around them and tightens his grips on Kame’s side, stilling his struggle.
“What is it that you’re looking for?” Kame asks, catching his own breath as he speaks.
Ryo’s hand releases one of Kame’s to trace his chest, and Kame wraps his now-free hand around Ryo’s neck to pull him closer.
“Tell me,” Kame’s voice comes out as a whispered plea.
Ryo hushes him.
“I’ll tell you when the time comes,” Ryo says. “For now, you stay here.”
The die that has stopped, it starts rolling again.
Ryo groans loudly as Kame enters him from behind and he turns backwards to bite Kame’s forearm and they fall to the bed.
“Fuck,” Ryo growls and his hand desperately searches for something to hold on. Ryo feels Kame’s body sticking closer to his back, and shortly after, there’s a hand covering his mouth and another holding his right hand.
“Don’t come so fast,” Kame pants as he thrusts in slowly. He adjusts his hand so that their palms are facing each other and he links their fingers together. Kame thrusts again and Ryo feels his nails clawing at the back of Kame’s palm.
Kame whimpers slightly with the pain and Ryo’s suddenly incredibly turned on. Fuck, he thinks. He lifts the lower part of his body, telling Kame that he wants more.
He turns slightly towards Kame and says it again with his eyes. Don’t stop.
Kame’s hand pulls away from Ryo’s mouth and Kame kisses him hard as he pushes in faster.
“I want it,” he huffs, “there.” He takes Kame’s hand to his hardened cock, demanding him to work there too.
Kame comes and he shakes with pleasure as he pulls out from Ryo, and Ryo climaxes shortly after.
Ryo collapses and sees the rolling die picking up speed.
Kame’s body glistens with sweat in the moonlit night, and Ryo finds himself in awe.
“What happened to you?” he asks. “I never knew you could be this beautiful.”
Kame smirks.
“That’s a really lame pickup line, you know?”
Kame kisses Ryo as he leaves, and the die in his mind slowly halts to a stop. He sweeps the image away, because he doesn’t need to know what number the die shows.
The next time Ryo goes to the balcony, Kame’s not there, possibly busy preparing for their upcoming tour.
He sits on the spot Kame usually sits on and rolls a die on the table.
He stares at the rolling die and sees the beautiful night sky as they kiss in the park and the twinkling stars around him as he comes.
The die stops and Ryo rises up from his seat.
Ryo takes Kame back to the hilltop park and makes him close his eyes.
“Sing me your latest song,” he asks. “Lie on the grass and sing me the song you’re going to sing in your tour.”
Kame smiles curiously. “Why?”
“Just do it,” Ryo says, “and close your eyes while you do it.”
Kame clears his throat and starts his song with a fading shooting star, trembles as he reaches the verse where he describes the intimacy he had and almost breaks his voice as he croons about the way he’s being swept away by the love he desires so much.
When Kame ends his chorus with a plea to his lover, asking him to stay close to him, Ryo climbs on top of him and kisses him gently.
Kame’s eyes widen in amazement.
“You asked me what I see when I look at you,” Ryo says and he kisses him again.
“Why—what—“
Ryo silences him with yet another kiss.
“Look above me,” he says. “That’s what I see when I look at you now.”
Ryo watches Kame’s solo performance from the lighting room, filling his mind with the night sky Kame has brought on stage for Zutto.
In his mind, the die starts rolling again.